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 kreg
Registered: 09/15/21
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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 Funny workplace stories thread   1
#852902 - 11/30/21 10:35 AM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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Working at a small store that was open late, it was the only one open late, most of our traffic was people wanted to use the bathroom or wanted to steal stuff
one night i go to clean the bathrooms and in the stalls are pants on the floor, crumpled as if someone just sat down and de-pantsed, but they didn't make it in time, shit all over the pants and the front of the toilet.....
....and there was a used needle on the floor to the side next to a burnt bent spoon
Must have had some speed in it because I did not see the magical butterfly man leave after his metamorphoses, just left me behind with his dirty heroin cocoon in the bathroom
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This site is dead and nobody here is even growing
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Niffla
Stranger
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Loc: Texas
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 Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: kreg]
#852914 - 11/30/21 11:27 AM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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This is a good thread
I'll have to remember to post some stories later (I'm at work now and plus I'm posting from my phone, so posting stories on this is less than optimal).
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Sugabearcrisp
Doobee Bear
Registered: 10/01/21
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Niffla] 3
#852928 - 11/30/21 02:22 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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One time I was trimming plants before work and somehow got a big fan leaf stuck to my sweater. I almost walked into the office like that but just happened to catch it in my reflection as I closed the car door.
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 Connectedcosmos
Neti Neti
Registered: 06/05/18
Posts: 262
Loc: Tat Tvam Asi
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Sugabearcrisp] 1
#852930 - 11/30/21 02:30 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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 I've got so many I don't know where to start
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kreg
Registered: 09/15/21
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Connectedcosmos] 1
#852936 - 11/30/21 02:46 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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I once worked at a place that had a digital photo printing center area, a very wise young outdoorsman came in one day and used an SD card with oh idk maybe 100-150 close up shots of his fat girlfriends tits and bare crotch. It was raunchy. He wasn't even like using his hand to cover the screen or anything. Just sitting there at the booth station area with the computer monitor setup. Every time you want to select a pic for printing you have to click it and it fills the entire screen so you can get a good view to crop it lol. His buddy was walking around in the store looking at random foods. Wasn't busy that day I was too winded laughing to do anything about it I had to wait in the office while he printed his shit I couldn't keep a straight face.
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Niffla
Stranger
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Loc: Texas
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: kreg]
#852940 - 11/30/21 02:59 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
kreg said:
I once worked at a place that had a digital photo printing center area, a very wise young outdoorsman came in one day and used an SD card with oh idk maybe 100-150 close up shots of his fat girlfriends tits and bare crotch. It was raunchy. He wasn't even like using his hand to cover the screen or anything. Just sitting there at the booth station area with the computer monitor setup. Every time you want to select a pic for printing you have to click it and it fills the entire screen so you can get a good view to crop it lol. His buddy was walking around in the store looking at random foods. Wasn't busy that day I was too winded laughing to do anything about it I had to wait in the office while he printed his shit I couldn't keep a straight face.
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Niffla
Stranger
Registered: 05/03/21
Posts: 803
Loc: Texas
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Niffla]
#853151 - 12/03/21 05:14 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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more funny workplace stories please 
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kreg
Registered: 09/15/21
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Niffla]
#853154 - 12/03/21 05:21 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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Once I was working on a slow night, at the same store as before, this guy comes in, he starts talking to ne and i can tell very quickly hes gay, im not, but im friendly and high on pcp so i keep talking to him, he gives me his number on a paper before he goes to register to leave
ok fucking not even an hour later this dude is texting me asking me to let him blow me in the bathroom at work. I laugh at first like "lol you got any drugs, dude" , he says no, and then for the rest of the night he keeps texting me asking to arrange things, he even offers money at one point. it freaked me out so much i told the manager i was sick and went home worried this dude was gonna come back asking for the gay guy in the back hahaha. He never came back, i really suspect he had some molly or meth or something, i am not handsome or whatever
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Niffla
Stranger
Registered: 05/03/21
Posts: 803
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: kreg]
#853167 - 12/03/21 08:01 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
kreg said:
Once I was working on a slow night, at the same store as before, this guy comes in, he starts talking to ne and i can tell very quickly hes gay, im not, but im friendly and high on pcp so i keep talking to him, he gives me his number on a paper before he goes to register to leave
ok fucking not even an hour later this dude is texting me asking me to let him blow me in the bathroom at work.
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Niffla
Stranger
Registered: 05/03/21
Posts: 803
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Niffla]
#853171 - 12/03/21 08:12 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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Fleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
Registered: 06/27/20
Posts: 784
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Niffla] 2
#853174 - 12/03/21 08:29 PM (2 years, 11 months ago) |
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It was my first week working around a crane. It was a raggedy old crane on a raggedy old barge. The guys were showing me the ropes. Giving me tips, showing me how to rig, but most of all warning me. All kinds of horror stories about how quickly it can all go to shit.
Well the crane operator decides to play a fun trick while we're all standing under the hook. He screams bloody murder "MOVE, AAAAAAAH AAAAAAH!"
No need to say more, I drop my grinder and I take off running down the deck.
And everybody's laughing their asses off. Just a cruel construction joke. nothing was happening
They were impressed however, because they said most people look up and stand around trying to figure out whats happening.
One of my black co workers even said "You aint no regular white boy, you run like a mah fuckin black man"
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Bassui wrote the following letter to one of his disciples who was about to die:
"The essence of your mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existence, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is a mere void. It has neither color nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains.
"I know you are very ill. Like a good Zen student, you are facing that sickness squarely. You may not know exactly who is suffering, but question yourself: What is the essence of this mind? Think only of this. You will need no more. Covet nothing. Your end which is endless is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air."
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SameThing
Registered: 08/27/21
Posts: 1,316
Loc: ΣΔЯТН
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: Fleabag Friend]
#853267 - 12/07/21 07:41 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was fired from a job i didnt even start.
I beat a dozen or so other candidates for a job at a hospital delivering meals to patients. Must have impressed at the interview, i dont know why they picked me. Took a sickie the first shift to go surfing and came home to a message on my machine saying dont bother turning up tomorrow. My mom was not impressed, i was still living at home then.
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SameThing
Registered: 08/27/21
Posts: 1,316
Loc: ΣΔЯТН
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: SameThing]
#853594 - 12/14/21 12:30 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thread killer 101.
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kreg
Registered: 09/15/21
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: SameThing] 1
#853597 - 12/14/21 05:25 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I know I've got more Im just struggling to remember a good one that has a story with it
used to play circle game (👌) with some work people, one of them took shit suuuper serious. He printed out a paper with 👌 on it. He had it laminated and would hide it all over the place he got everybody with it
"Hey Duncan did you check in all the pallets i found another invoice at the bottom 👌"
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SameThing
Registered: 08/27/21
Posts: 1,316
Loc: ΣΔЯТН
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: kreg]
#853656 - 12/14/21 01:07 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I once worked with a guy who fathered two of his children on the same night with two different women, in the same bed, at the same time.
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kreg
Registered: 09/15/21
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 2 years, 2 days
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Re: Funny workplace stories thread [Re: SameThing]
#853698 - 12/14/21 06:22 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Bahaha. I used to work with a guy who allegedly had a prince albert. It was believable enough seems like such a weird thing to lie about. He was super cool he actually wrote a couple books. He was night manager he would build nap nooks all around the back areas of the store and use his breaks to go in the impromptu forts and nap out.
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