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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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kill myself
#706871 - 01/13/14 02:02 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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CrushNazT



Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 927
Loc: Colorado
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#706872 - 01/13/14 02:07 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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im thinkin about it right now too...
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iStoner
Astral Beast


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#706876 - 01/13/14 02:21 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Don't do it.
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT] 1
#706879 - 01/13/14 02:35 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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seems easier some times
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iStoner
Astral Beast


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#706880 - 01/13/14 02:37 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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it does, doesn't it.
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: iStoner]
#706882 - 01/13/14 02:39 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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most definitely
i go for sentencing in 6 weeks
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.



Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#706884 - 01/13/14 02:43 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Six weeks of partying doesn't sound like something to kill oneself over.
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volcomstoner
Just one more xanax



Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Gaybec
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#706888 - 01/13/14 02:53 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Picklez said: most definitely
i go for sentencing in 6 weeks
dude, it's no big deal. It's not the end of the world, you can build back up.
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Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Thebooedocksaint
Dead Dictator



Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 5,730
Loc: Wild & Free
Last seen: 2 months, 18 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#706889 - 01/13/14 03:05 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Picklez said: most definitely
i go for sentencing in 6 weeks
I'd rather not go "game over." Living through anything not an extremely painful terminal disease is better than not-life.
-------------------- "Je pense, donc je suis (I am thinking, therefore I am)." -Rene Descartes
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P-O


Registered: 10/08/11
Posts: 17,891
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#706901 - 01/13/14 04:56 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
iStoner said: do it.

Quote:
CrushNazT said: im thinkin about it right now too...
Dude you better be trolling .
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CrushNazT



Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 927
Loc: Colorado
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what are you lookin at? probation, jail, or DOC?
i got raided in missouri with 2 plants and a VERY small amount of DMT when i was 19 back in 2007. the state wanted me in prison, somehow i got probation, and managed to NOT go to prison during the 5 years i was on. i dont know how i made it through, but i did. i thought about killing myself a lot throughout that. there were a lot of factors to it, including depression, PTSD, and pharmaceuticals i was forced to take. otherwise i had to go to the DOC.
i still cant get a fucking job, because during the time i was on probation, i couldnt get any job except washing dishes, so i was never able to get any REAL work experience. so no one gives a fuck about hiring me now. my head is still really fucked up from that whole experience.
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volcomstoner
Just one more xanax



Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Gaybec
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#706910 - 01/13/14 05:10 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CrushNazT said: what are you lookin at? probation, jail, or DOC?
i got raided in missouri with 2 plants and a VERY small amount of DMT when i was 19 back in 2007. the state wanted me in prison, somehow i got probation, and managed to NOT go to prison during the 5 years i was on. i dont know how i made it through, but i did. i thought about killing myself a lot throughout that. there were a lot of factors to it, including depression, PTSD, and pharmaceuticals i was forced to take. otherwise i had to go to the DOC.
i still cant get a fucking job, because during the time i was on probation, i couldnt get any job except washing dishes, so i was never able to get any REAL work experience. so no one gives a fuck about hiring me now. my head is still really fucked up from that whole experience.
man this is spot on for me.
Except when I thought about killing myself it was towards the end of my drug addiction. i didn't actually make an attempt, but it was like, I would do so many drugs and didnt give a shit if I didnt wake up or not
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Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#706911 - 01/13/14 05:13 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Suicide is not the answer guys, going out in a hail of bullets is the honorable thang to do.
Seriously though, suicide is not even an option, it always seems darkest before the light shines through the bullshit.
If it helps, I have a probation violation court date on the 23rd of this month and I am shitting bricks but what can you do but keep pushing forward.
-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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bEelzeBosS
Are my eyes red?


Registered: 11/15/13
Posts: 706
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#706914 - 01/13/14 05:20 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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If you do it can I have your stuff
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GBurger717
Let me be me! I luv me some me!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 505
Loc: USA, East of Mississippi
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Man I will tell ya life fuckin blows but what does not kill ya makes ya stronger. Pickles I have been where you are at now and I am glad I did not do it. Life is fucked up, life does throw shit in your face but we drag on threw it. My life is fucked up! I am on enough pain meds / benzos that would kill a horse but you know what I keep on dealing with the pain. I hate dealing with the health issues I have and always thought a tail pipe from a car was the best answer but it aint! I do it for the people around me. I keep pushin for the family. People care about you man. You may not think they do but they do. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP MAN..... it will get better
-------------------- "If only one party supports a bill, it's probably not a very good bill. If both parties support it, you can be sure that however good it seems on the surface, under the covers it's worse than you could possibly imagine" - Me myself and I 08-02-12
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty - Jefferson
The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first. - Jefferson
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Harry_Ba11sach
cannoisseur


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 11,753
Loc: Nepal
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707164 - 01/13/14 10:42 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wait, are you seriously going back to prison soon? What the fuck do you keep doing, dude?
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volcomstoner
Just one more xanax



Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Gaybec
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Harry_Ba11sach said: Wait, are you seriously going back to prison soon? What the fuck do you keep doing, dude?
IIRC he hasn't had sentencing for his last case but has already served some time for it.
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Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Quote:
volcomstoner said:
Quote:
Harry_Ba11sach said: Wait, are you seriously going back to prison soon? What the fuck do you keep doing, dude?
IIRC he hasn't had sentencing for his last case but has already served some time for it.
This.
I have 6 months in on my old case
Might not get any additional time, but could get up to another year
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RasJeph
Psycho Pete



Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,657
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707197 - 01/14/14 08:01 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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When I wake up early in the morning I kinda feel like killing myself sometimes. I dunno what it is. I think its something about my brain not being fully ready yet, but I get pretty serious suicidal thoughts until I stand up and get dressed. Then I'm happy as fuck. Such a bizarre thing. 
But nah, don't off yourself. Focus your energy into not fucking up anymore. Difficult, yea, but a better use of your time.
-------------------- Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: RasJeph]
#707202 - 01/14/14 08:52 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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this wasnt a serious thread really. I dont have suicidal thoughts. just very apathetic about life right now
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707204 - 01/14/14 09:02 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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CrushNazT



Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 927
Loc: Colorado
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Re: kill myself [Re: RasJeph]
#707207 - 01/14/14 09:48 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
RasJeph said: When I wake up early in the morning I kinda feel like killing myself sometimes. I dunno what it is. I think its something about my brain not being fully ready yet, but I get pretty serious suicidal thoughts until I stand up and get dressed. Then I'm happy as fuck. Such a bizarre thing. 
But nah, don't off yourself. Focus your energy into not fucking up anymore. Difficult, yea, but a better use of your time.
i feel like that almost everyday... kinda strange. and it sucks.
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#707213 - 01/14/14 10:04 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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You guys need some women in your lives that or happy drugs.
-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#707214 - 01/14/14 10:06 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Sham87 said: You guys need some women in your lives
Psh, she makes matters worse sometimes
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CrushNazT



Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 927
Loc: Colorado
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707216 - 01/14/14 10:11 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Picklez said:
Quote:
Sham87 said: You guys need some women in your lives
Psh, she makes matters worse sometimes 
i really do need to get laid. its been well over a year now.. i start school next week so hopefuly i meet some cool stoner chicks.
but, i also agree with pickelz...
such a shitty line to try to walk.
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mjmihalov
Stranger

Registered: 01/25/13
Posts: 800
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707229 - 01/14/14 11:12 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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I would never kill myself over fear of jail, especially not short time.
But if I was going away to prison for a long time I'm having a shootout for sure.
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: mjmihalov]
#707232 - 01/14/14 11:43 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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This thread is making me
-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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volcomstoner
Just one more xanax



Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Gaybec
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#707235 - 01/14/14 11:58 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Sham87 said: You guys need some women in your lives that or happy drugs.
QFT
Don't worry, be happy.
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Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707239 - 01/14/14 12:26 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Got an interview with a temp agency tomorrow. Hopefully they can help me find some work
Got quite a bit done today around the house. I think the lady will be happy when she gets home.
Might even cook dinner tonight, nah but I thought about it at least
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P-O


Registered: 10/08/11
Posts: 17,891
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707240 - 01/14/14 12:29 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Picklez ; Mr. Mom of the year 2014
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: P-O] 1
#707242 - 01/14/14 12:39 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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I might just become a stay at home mom
Nah, I hate being at home. I am ready to be working again. Doing man stuff. This interwebs all day is boring as shit. There arent enough games to keep me busy
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RasJeph
Psycho Pete



Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,657
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: CrushNazT]
#707250 - 01/14/14 01:24 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CrushNazT said:
Quote:
RasJeph said: When I wake up early in the morning I kinda feel like killing myself sometimes. I dunno what it is. I think its something about my brain not being fully ready yet, but I get pretty serious suicidal thoughts until I stand up and get dressed. Then I'm happy as fuck. Such a bizarre thing. 
But nah, don't off yourself. Focus your energy into not fucking up anymore. Difficult, yea, but a better use of your time.
i feel like that almost everyday... kinda strange. and it sucks.
Its literally only like a 30 minute thing for me, and only once or twice a month. I dunno, I can't explain it. I'm perfectly content 99.9% of the time, but sometimes upon waking up I get this overwhelming feeling of "fuck it"
It never lasts so I don't care, but I think about it sometimes and it confuses me.
-------------------- Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?
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iStoner
Astral Beast


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#707361 - 01/14/14 05:27 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Sham87 said: You guys need some women in your lives that or happy drugs.
i could use a bit more of each.
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: iStoner]
#707371 - 01/14/14 06:07 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Don't we all...
-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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volcomstoner
Just one more xanax



Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Gaybec
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#707376 - 01/14/14 06:18 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Sham87 said: Don't we all...
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Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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I have 8 1/2 months clean
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707773 - 01/16/14 09:45 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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time to head out to this temp agency and see if they can get me a motherfucking job
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UltimateDevotion
TwistedByDesign



Registered: 11/23/12
Posts: 5,935
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707774 - 01/16/14 09:50 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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What happened to your last job?
-------------------- Harry Detroit in 304 made one last promise now
"I'm goin out without a trace, a vanishing act before your eyes"
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Sham87
マリオ



Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 7,540
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: kill myself [Re: Picklez]
#707778 - 01/16/14 09:55 AM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Goodluck man
-------------------- ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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Picklez




Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: kill myself [Re: Sham87]
#707899 - 01/16/14 04:03 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
UltimateDevotion said: What happened to your last job?
Got laid off
Quote:
Sham87 said: Goodluck man
Thanks, I got to call every week and let them know I am still looking for work, hopefully it doesnt take them more than a couple weeks to find me something. Going to pay to get a background check done too, I dont know if my felony is going to show up or not. If it doesnt, that definitely opens up more possibilities for me
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