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 Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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 forever junkie 
#633105 - 07/29/12 01:04 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Got to be about my 250th time trying to quit. I recently had my longest. Period cleaan in 4 years but have been fucking up bad these past couple of months. Just crossed the 48 hour mark.. could be worse but this shit sucks. I hope this time is for good, made it over 5 months last time.
Wish i had something to smoke. Been doing nothing but sitting in the tub
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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 Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633106 - 07/29/12 02:55 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Been thinking about dosing a couple grams of mushrooms but dont know if that'll do more harm than any good
Plus i dont know if my body can go another day without sleep
58-60 hours since last hits
50 hours of clean time. Approx.
More sitting in the bath tub posting on the internets, keeping myself hydrated, taken some good shits, and been reading. Hopefully the physical parts are over by tuesday night
Need to go to CVS and get some more fluids and vitamins though
Boredddddom
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633107 - 07/29/12 04:03 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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got me some coffee and some vitamin water
hoping this coffee helps clear me out a bit
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 still beLIEve
State Property..Again
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,167
Loc: a world thats not my own
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez] 3
#633108 - 07/29/12 05:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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dont take shrooms, that will be awful
--------------------
niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Yeah ill save that for a couple days down the road as a bit of mental therapy.
Im surprissed i havent thrown up... yet.
Been in the shower literally eevery 3-4 hours and downed 7 bottles of drink the last 2 days.
I know no one cares but im bored and posting here is at least keeping me busy
That and the book the ive about finished.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633110 - 07/29/12 06:01 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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In all reality this is the softest wd's ive ever had, but they still blow ass.
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Debute23
Registered: 01/20/09
Posts: 141
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633111 - 07/29/12 06:09 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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what's a wd?
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Debute23]
#633112 - 07/29/12 06:17 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Junky slang for withdrawals
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633113 - 07/29/12 06:34 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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mental therapy?
vitamin water?
dopesick without weed?
Rapey?
Terrarape?
I say just eat the mushrooms and have an awesome day xD
Lifes hillariously weird sometimes
ima forever junkie too yknow.
shrooms are good
always good
shrooms are good.
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633114 - 07/29/12 06:36 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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count all the stars that are not there
THIS IS NOT A STAIRCASE WITH STARS BENETH IT, IT HAS GROWN TO BE ALIKE CUPCAKES
9/11
NEVER FORGET
how many busniess tried flying that day
Space babeh
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633115 - 07/29/12 06:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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and now comes the saddest moment of forever
have a great dato!
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633116 - 07/29/12 06:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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welcome back from your 24 hour ban 
ima go get some spice to smoke here in a couple hours, that will at least keep me busy
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633117 - 07/29/12 06:43 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thank you, I ended up not remembering wat I did o.o
felt bluesey
spice sounds nice.. smoking my last half gram of hash, gonna drink a bottle of wine and just lie in wait for those mushrooms to come save my life and take me to anotherworld cause this shits gettin too weird
wiered
wierd...
scary n happy to say the least
woof.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633118 - 07/29/12 06:48 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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You tripping here soon?
Have fun man, positive vibes your way
Spice sucks but the action of having SOMETHING to smoke, has helped the first couple days..
On my 4th cup of coffee, shit taste soo bomb, I am going to be paying for it through the asshole here soon. Quite literally.
3 more hours til smoke shop even opens 
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633120 - 07/29/12 06:57 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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meh, ill go to the parents place and fetch some coffee too later tonight, maybe try to get some cash from grandma, most likely :b
But yeah ima be eating that 10g heroic dose soon
I really need to blow my and everyone elses minds wide open soon or im literally fucked and will never be happy in this mess
So im counting on the mushrooms and my long term damaged soul to repair EVERYTHING and then have some darned fun
and heres a song I think ud find nice
eat lemons, lol
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633121 - 07/29/12 06:58 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel undead at times lol
real torn up lol
then I laugh
suddenly missed you
didnt remember much .________.
now I wish I had more drugs as every other happy day
wondering where to go or what to remember
this is almost funny
Abormality I call!
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633122 - 07/29/12 06:59 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I waz talking to u pizkles ;<
and mah torn pair of shoes
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
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Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633123 - 07/29/12 07:04 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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not my kind of music
10g? nice, most I have done is 8g and I ended up getting waken up by my gf, passed out naked on the bathroom floor. I found the whole trip to be quite overwhelming on the body. Like no matter what I was doing, it wasnt enough to occupy my mind, but I couldnt "handle," doing much of anything. I ended up spending the later part of my trip in bed with her, watching Sportscenter to try and ground myself.
I will stick to 4g or less from now on.
Regardless, you have a good one. You seem like you need it 
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez] 1
#633124 - 07/29/12 07:09 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
Either man up and stay clean or die a filthy junkie.
You were granted a second chance with your education.
This is go time. This time will define the rest of your life.
Keep your head down and eye on the prize.
Let the future, the one you want, be the force that pulls you through the bad and gives you strength.
I recently went through something somewhat similar regarding education and lifestyle choice.
I am going back to school with a full science course load come sept 4th.
Its not what I want now, but its where I want to be later, and thats what matters.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633125 - 07/29/12 07:11 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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guess its abit too.... dirt? for you, im just a stupid hippy anyways :b peace n love dude, good shit eneays.
n the bathroom floor naked sounds hillarious though D: and being so stoned you cant really move sounds beautiful :>
And lying o
A funny thing to do : D and yeah the whole 10g, I really just wanna.... well destroy this infinite hurt molecule to expand only positive energy, I know its doable : )
Will most likely bring me to my jungle queen too
rawr :>
Someday well all eat like... 50 grams of hawaiians or something!
thatll be a feisty day if wee add ayahuasca and smokeable dmt too xD
a day to say the least, I see it commming! xD
I miss my jungle queen ._. mustve been nice to have a girl around you on that amount of mushrooms
If I were to ground myself id watch some documentary about calm landscapes or just simple music andor meditation
all seems to kinda work great on me
always liked watching fear and loathing....
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633126 - 07/29/12 07:12 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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u guys and ur science, didnt yknow spaceships already gave us so much braincapacity that we dont need a school to make our lives come true?
I do not like education
where is the love peace and harmony in a university, god damned nowhere to be found
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633127 - 07/29/12 07:14 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Life is still a lot fucking better 9 times out of 10 if you have that piece of paper in your hand.
University provides many valuable experiences and is a lot of fun depending on where you go.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633128 - 07/29/12 07:15 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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but nevermind that, I hate discussing education, ima just run so far away from it that ill never be able to see it again.
 
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633129 - 07/29/12 07:16 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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and what if the only paper you need is rolling paper, thatd be pretty cool
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633130 - 07/29/12 07:18 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
drawde said:
Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
Either man up and stay clean or die a filthy junkie.
You were granted a second chance with your education.
This is go time. This time will define the rest of your life.
Keep your head down and eye on the prize.
Let the future, the one you want, be the force that pulls you through the bad and gives you strength.
I recently went through something somewhat similar regarding education and lifestyle choice.
I am going back to school with a full science course load come sept 4th.
Its not what I want now, but its where I want to be later, and thats what matters.
Tell me about it man. I have 15,000 posts and I feel at least 5,000 of them have been regarding me trying to get off dope.
But you're 100% right, I actually have some shit to focus on now, and that's why I have buckled down and doing this the right way. Havent caved and bought Kratom. Havent went and got poppy seeds when I easily could.
I am sick of going through w/d's over and over again. And while this time was nothing like the hell ive experienced 2 other times after kicking after using for years; it is still taxing.
I am lucky of several things this time; I got unadultered dope my last time using; i went and stocked up on groceries (vitamin water, orange juice, soups, noddles, ect.); and ive had a safe place where no one has been around the past 2 days and ive been able to just soak in the bathtub every 3-4 hours without anyone noticing. I am hoping my roommate isnt around much today either or it's going to be rough.
This time is for good. I say that every time but after having 5+ months clean within the past 12 months, I know how good it feels to be clean and I know I can do it. If I wasnt dedicated, I would have already caved and got poppy's.
Thanks for the words though. I am really counting on this place to help get me through it
And while I know I will get some ballbusting, I deserve it. Ive been a punk bitch in dealing with my addiction. But already going through 54-55 hours of w/d's, I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I give it another 48 hours before the physical symptoms pass and I can maybe get some sleep. Ive slept 3 hours in the past 2 1/2 days
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633131 - 07/29/12 07:19 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
drawde said:
Life is still a lot fucking better 9 times out of 10 if you have that piece of paper in your hand.
University provides many valuable experiences and is a lot of fun depending on where you go.
Yeah, after being out of school this past year and not even being able to get shitty jobs; id much rather be in school right now working towards something. Even if it doesnt go to plan, it at least buys me little time to figure shit out.
Class starts in a month. I will be ready.
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633132 - 07/29/12 07:23 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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you sound like you have no dreams : (
ill just go to some corner and shut up now
cause in my dreams... im dirty broke, beautiful and free
:/
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RasJeph
Psycho Pete
Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,657
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633133 - 07/29/12 07:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Picklez, just hire me to follow you around with a bat and I'll beat you with it every time you fuck up.
I work for weed on weekdays and hash on weekends.
--------------------
Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633134 - 07/29/12 07:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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In my dreams I have a large property in my name, a nice car, good food and drink, my kids college paid for and the ability to travel anywhere in the world I would like.
I sort of see the charm in the hobo life... its just not for me or most people.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633135 - 07/29/12 07:28 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hard to have dreams and goals when youve spent the last 4-5 years slowly losing everything you ever had because of having no self-control and drug addiction.
I went from being one of the smartest guys in my private, college prep high school, and having a full-ride to just about any public university that I wanted; to getting kicked out of school, losing my apartment, losing my freedom a couple of times, losing my Jeep, losing various women because of how drugs altered my thinking and my behavior.
So yeah, my only goal right now is to stay clean and get at least a 3.0 GPA next semester. That's about it.
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: RasJeph]
#633136 - 07/29/12 07:28 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
RasJeph said:
I work for weed on weekdays and hash on weekends.
Quote:
RasJeph said:
Picklez, just hire me to follow you around with a bat and I'll beat you with it every time you fuck up.
No doubt, I would whip his ass into shape in a jiff.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: RasJeph]
#633138 - 07/29/12 07:30 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
RasJeph said:
Picklez, just hire me to follow you around with a bat and I'll beat you with it every time you fuck up.
I work for weed on weekdays and hash on weekends.
haha
Ive got to do this on my own, ill be fucking 25 years old in a couple of months and I dont even have my own place any more. Been sleeping in jail cells and couches the past year and half really.
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633141 - 07/29/12 07:31 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I dont see how school can be a dream ._.
sorry I feel too cramped up in this conversation
ima stay in me cornerh..
find some woods, dissapear into the void, bai bai cruel wolrd, forbidden fruits couldnt taste better picklez!
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633142 - 07/29/12 07:34 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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school itself isnt the dream, it's the opportunities that it opens up.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633144 - 07/29/12 07:42 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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plan is to start doing a workout routine here in a couple days. I am sure I am going to lose a shitton of weight this week from lack of calories and sweating soo fucking much
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633159 - 07/29/12 11:01 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn the asians are late opening today. Wth. China aint winning no basketball medals
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KaptKid
Spaced Pirate
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 5,615
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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 Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633169 - 07/29/12 03:49 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good luck to you.
Adickisions are a bitch.
kinda like the old flame I just broke up with.
--------------------
Child of the 60's, Tripping ever sence.
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P-O
Registered: 10/08/11
Posts: 17,891
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Re: forever junkie [Re: KaptKid]
#633174 - 07/29/12 06:01 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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stay in school
Edited by Stoneth (07/29/12 08:16 PM)
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Mycophile
Registered: 03/17/12
Posts: 2,348
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Re: forever junkie [Re: P-O]
#633181 - 07/29/12 07:24 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Mycophile]
#633215 - 07/30/12 01:32 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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got 8 hours of shitty sleep, but it was sleep. I am thankful for that
day 4.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633216 - 07/30/12 02:02 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn you have some long withdrawals...then again other than my main addiction recovery I havent used for any real length of time....so I guess it sounds about right. You getting restless legs?
--------------------
Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Yeah restless legs is probably the worst part, along with hot and cold sweats.
I am feeling pretty stellar right now though, 73 hours clean not 4 full days yet, day 4 just started an hour ago. (most sites say peak symptoms hit at 72 hours but i feel mine were more around 50 hour mark)
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633218 - 07/30/12 02:29 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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C-Dopa,L-Dopa can help with the restless legs. I had that for over a year after I got clean, couldn't for more than an hour without that stuff.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
Edited by Hawksresurrection (07/30/12 02:39 AM)
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Yeah im just going to ride it out substance free, might grab some beers this week but just getting my body back to peak shape.
Going to start hitting the gym once class starts
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633225 - 07/30/12 06:59 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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picklez, this might sound stupid, but what youve been learning and gaining from your journies on the substances and everything, I dont mean to sound like a bitch, but it sounds like society is getting to you and... destroying the magic in your life?
My heart just ached and I had to say this to you
I know youre a special person and it just feels weird to... lose you to a school system and coorporate grounds... it scares me picklez!
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633226 - 07/30/12 06:59 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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or rather... saddens me :/
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633229 - 07/30/12 08:08 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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but forget me, im being weird and dun wanna talk about it :b act your way
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633231 - 07/30/12 09:06 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fisherman said:
picklez, this might sound stupid, but what youve been learning and gaining from your journies on the substances and everything, I dont mean to sound like a bitch, but it sounds like society is getting to you and... destroying the magic in your life?
My heart just ached and I had to say this to you
I know youre a special person and it just feels weird to... lose you to a school system and coorporate grounds... it scares me picklez!
Your so fucked.
Dont listen to a word this guy says picklez.
I dont think your that much of an idiot anyway.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633232 - 07/30/12 09:10 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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haha, yeah i dont pay him no attention
halfway through day 4. got some minor cravings but im staying solid
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633234 - 07/30/12 09:21 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Shootin dope frees me from the system man
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633235 - 07/30/12 09:23 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Picklez said:
haha, yeah i dont pay him no attention
halfway through day 4. got some minor cravings but im staying solid
Those bitch ass cravings dont have shit on you.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633238 - 07/30/12 09:30 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Im having a disney movie marathon today and tomorrow
time for some Lion King 
I miss being a kid 
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Fisherman
Stranger
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633241 - 07/30/12 10:53 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I wasnt telling him to shoot dope, im just saying theres something to learn from it, imo, and there are tipping points of the balances...
The plant realm is weird, very different than our system...
call me as weird as u want but im just as real as u guys
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Fisherman]
#633242 - 07/30/12 10:57 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Shoot dope, learn thangs.
--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish. 
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633299 - 07/31/12 02:44 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Havent posted here in a long time, Maybe you remember me Pickelz, I am also a dope head. I live in Minneapolis where our dope is 93% pure and cheap as fuck. I'm 26 and been on and off dope since 18. February 28th I admitted myself into a treatment center, I did it without thinking much and that was a mistake, I'm an atheist and made the mistake of going to a 12 step program. Despite the fact they changed it to be "God as you see HIM" I still call bullshit on anybody who says its not a faith based program. I believe if I get sober its because I was strong enough to, not because some dick god decided to grant me a 2nd chance.
ok ranting... ANYWAY, 14 days into my 21 day stay I said fuck this shit I'm leaving, I was convinced I would never use again. Had a friend pick me up and stayed at his place, Went home the next day to my parents telling me I couldent live there anymore...Convinced them It would be different this time (story of our lives right?) Got super depressed....Got a job as a telemarketer.....dident help it was full of drug addicts, Ended up buying some Fent patches from a kid one day and injecting them. And boom, only took one time and I was yet again fucked. I got fired for "making people feel unsafe and being a drug dealer" which was funny because I didnt sell drugs but a fuck load of the other people did....
Anyway, I used again for a few months, Ran out of money, parents called me out a few weeks ago and now I'm on day 14 clean yet again. No job, no car, no money.. Its a fucked up cycle man. So hard to understand the pain we deal with on a daily basis, Its one thing to get past withdrawls, I always thought that was the hard part. Its not, staying clean is the hard part, for some fucking retarded ass reason I always end up thinking I'm fucking cured and I can use again. I cant, If we keep using were going to die.
Were addicts FOR LIFE, forever junkies. But there is always hope! You really have to cut yourself off from anybody who uses, throw your phone in the fucking trash. We have a high tolerance for pain, but a short memory of it. You have to hold on to the pain your feeling right now, remember every second of it and use it anytime you are craving.
I don't really know why I'm typing this, I think the tap of the keys beats being alone in my head, in my room, in silence, in the dark. Maybe this post is more for me than you, I just feel for you being a fellow addict, I hope this is the last time I kick, as well as the last time for you. Stay strong brother, we can and will beat this shit. we are better than this!
-Lucid 
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633301 - 07/31/12 03:24 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Of course I remember who you are and thanks for saying what you did. I feel almost 100% how you do and find myself in a very similar financial situation. Throw on top of that a DUI warrant and it makes for even more fun.
I hope you stick with it man this time. Although I know what you mean about thinking you're cured and can use just once. Cant do it.
I also have a fucked situation where the guy im living next door to, is my dealer, so its soo close that even without a phone, id just knock on his door and hes always home and always has dope
Actually thinking about going to turn myself in tomorrow and get most of my jail sentence done before school starts
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633303 - 07/31/12 03:39 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Warrants and drug dealers next door? lame.... That was one thing I never shared with people in treatment, a criminal record. I have a fucking guardian angel, I robbed drug dealers, one time at noon in the middle of downtown with a .45 and somehow still have no record, never spent a night in jail. I'm pretty sure I'm shit out of luck and will crash and burn hard if I ever start using again...
Hey atleast your in school man, Props for that. I got nothing to show for like the last 7 years of my life. How are your withdraws? Biggest thing for me is rapid heart beat/anxiety and the fucking restless leg syndrome. I was sober like 4 months this last time before I relapsed for a month and a half or so and somehow I'm not getting the restless leg shit this time and I'm able to sleep each night. I dident sleep for 105 hours straight in the treatment center, then it was like 3-4 hours a night for a month.
I really wish I could sleep right now.....FML. 
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633304 - 07/31/12 03:52 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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my warrant is for a DUI, nothing violent or felony level. just little bullshit they wanna give me 45 more days on. I will go do the time, but fuck doing it in August, it's hot as fuck here and we have that Tent Citty bullshit. Ill hit judge up in Mid-September lol
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633305 - 07/31/12 04:00 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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haha so much for the turning yourself in tomorrow!
what are you on now? day 4?
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633307 - 07/31/12 04:18 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah fuck doing it tomorrow. another week at the earliest.
i fucked up and got a little 10 sack maybe 12 hours ago
on the positive it was the shittiest dope i ever had and didnt even get a buzz, so maybe the setback wont be too bad
I think I just know what shitty shit I have to face soon and keep numbing having to think about it
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633309 - 07/31/12 04:26 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ya dopes good at numbing shit like that, When I got sober, and was forced to think about my life and shit again. I was like wow what the fuck have I done to my life? and how did I do some of the shit I did? Learning to have emotions and think about things again kinda sucks...
speaking of sucks, the suns coming up and it makes me want to die a little bit. 
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633316 - 07/31/12 08:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I am going to hit up a treatment center here in the next week. I just have some stuff to finish up with my school before I can go in for a week. The place here only needs like 7-14 days and I still have the freedom to leave whenever I need to. Got to sneak my droid in though lol
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iStoner
Astral Beast
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633317 - 07/31/12 09:30 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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i wish addictions were easier to break, but it's so simple to just do a drug and feel perfect.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: iStoner]
#633319 - 07/31/12 09:53 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
iStoner said:
i wish addictions were easier to break, but it's so simple to just do a drug and feel perfect.
yeah, i cant do it 100% on my own. I need to hit up a facility and at least get 2 weeks and some support systems under my belt
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633330 - 07/31/12 12:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Were addicts FOR LIFE, forever junkies. But there is always hope! You really have to cut yourself off from anybody who uses, throw your phone in the fucking trash. We have a high tolerance for pain, but a short memory of it. You have to hold on to the pain your feeling right now, remember every second of it and use it anytime you are craving.
This is by far the hardest lesson to truly learn.
But is key to win the fight.
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633331 - 07/31/12 12:41 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Urge to relapse rising.... I cant be trusted with any amount of money fml.
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633337 - 07/31/12 12:55 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Just saw this thread but I hope you are doing good Pickelz. 
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633343 - 07/31/12 01:22 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good to see you again on here too Lucid.
I wish you peace and health, man.
I understand what you mean about the 12 steps thing, that sucks. The same reason why my uncle hated AA. He passed away, he was also a diabetic.
I can't imagine how hard it is to have an addiction like you guys have but keep staying strong and try to find joy in life.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 
This probably isn't of much help, but I've found meditation to be very helpful in obsessive/addicting thoughts. I've never had a drug addiction but I've struggled with OCD quite a bit and I know how hard it is to break the pattern and stay from your normal line of thought. Try to detach yourself and find strength in your self.
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Harry_Ba11sach
cannoisseur
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 11,753
Loc: Nepal
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633347 - 07/31/12 01:55 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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This thread partially makes me sad, but also is partly funny. Mainly because Pickles wanted to have a kid with like 3 different girls in a month long period and we all told him he shouldn't until he was clean. And then he adamantly told us he would never use again and he'd be a great dad. And now this thread exists. HA.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Agreed. And then after 72 hours clean he went and got another bag...
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Rubbing it in isn't going to help these guys out much.
They're obviously depressed enough to be making these posts in the public forum.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633356 - 07/31/12 02:30 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'll fully support him. But I see him saying he "has to take care of things before going into treatment". It doesn't work like that. He needs to drop what he's doing and enter in. You can't put treatment off, you just end up not going. This is coming from a former Oxy addict....
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
Agreed. And then after 72 hours clean he went and got another bag...
 Didn't even see that until now! C'mon man.
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
I'll fully support him. But I see him saying he "has to take care of things before going into treatment". It doesn't work like that. He needs to drop what he's doing and enter in. You can't put treatment off, you just end up not going. This is coming from a former Oxy addict....
Dude those whom know me here, know of my past addictions, I never went to treatment.
I just choose to quit, dropped all my old friends, and avoided those types of drug communities.
It's never easy, you just have to want it bad enough.
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633369 - 07/31/12 02:50 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've heard you talk about that before, but not in any detail.
What substance were you addicted(s) to?
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633371 - 07/31/12 02:54 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Pills, coke, meth, and sex.
Never got over the sex addiction, tho.
I guess I just don't want it bad enough.
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633376 - 07/31/12 02:59 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha well I don't even think that lasts one is a real addiction. 
But glad you are clean and healthy now man.
You still smoke and use psychedelics though, right?
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633379 - 07/31/12 03:02 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I didn't go either.....But not everyone who is addicted can get off of it with out help, and I think Picklez is one of those people. He also shouldn't be in one of these 2 week treatment centers where he can leave, he should be in a minimum of a 30 day treatment center.
I don't feel he can do this without the help of trained professionals and the support of his family.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Quote:
FRACTALife said:
Haha well I don't even think that lasts one is a real addiction.
But glad you are clean and healthy now man.
You still smoke and use psychedelics though, right?
I still smoke my bud yes.
I'm done with lucy tho, and shrooms well maybe again soon, but I feel I'm about all tripped out.
It just isn't the same these days.
Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
I didn't go either.....But not everyone who is addicted can get off of it with out help, and I think Picklez is one of those people. He also shouldn't be in one of these 2 week treatment centers where he can leave, he should be in a minimum of a 30 day treatment center.
I don't feel he can do this without the help of trained professionals and the support of his family.
I think his chances are just as good either way.
Until he changes his peer group, he's always going to have a hard time staying clean.
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633388 - 07/31/12 04:10 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
FRACTALife said:
Haha well I don't even think that lasts one is a real addiction.
But glad you are clean and healthy now man.
You still smoke and use psychedelics though, right?
Sex addiction is a very real phenomena.
JFK was a big time sex addict and many other famous people.
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King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: drawde]
#633391 - 07/31/12 04:44 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Stoneth said:
Quote:
FRACTALife said:
Haha well I don't even think that lasts one is a real addiction.
But glad you are clean and healthy now man.
You still smoke and use psychedelics though, right?
I still smoke my bud yes.
I'm done with lucy tho, and shrooms well maybe again soon, but I feel I'm about all tripped out.
It just isn't the same these days.
How about  ?
Quote:
drawde said:
Quote:
FRACTALife said:
Haha well I don't even think that lasts one is a real addiction.
But glad you are clean and healthy now man.
You still smoke and use psychedelics though, right?
Sex addiction is a very real phenomena.
JFK was a big time sex addict and many other famous people.
But don't we all have potential to become sex addicts? Isn't a good deal about learning to control your urges? I don't think you can blame sex addiction for cheating. And if you and your partner(s) want to just fuck all the time, what's the problem? Aren't a lot sex addicts are people who are good looking/have lots of money/famous.
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still beLIEve
State Property..Again
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,167
Loc: a world thats not my own
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633398 - 07/31/12 06:03 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lucid said:
I'm an atheist and made the mistake of going to a 12 step program. Despite the fact they changed it to be "God as you see HIM" I still call bullshit on anybody who says its not a faith based program. I believe if I get sober its because I was strong enough to, not because some dick god decided to grant me a 2nd chance.
12 steps are not faith or religion based they are spiritual based. a big difference.
and if you think you can do it by yourself, white knuckling it - good luck but you probably wont get far.
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niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633399 - 07/31/12 06:10 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
I'll fully support him. But I see him saying he "has to take care of things before going into treatment". It doesn't work like that. He needs to drop what he's doing and enter in. You can't put treatment off, you just end up not going. This is coming from a former Oxy addict....
Unfortunately I have some equally important stuff that I cant just up and disappear right now. I have to finish up some appeal stuff so that I can start college in 3 weeks. That is the only way I can get my life back on track. As soon as I get my stuff taken care of with the school, then I can go get clean and get setup in a half-way house after that
Quote:
FRACTALife said:
Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
Agreed. And then after 72 hours clean he went and got another bag...
Didn't even see that until now! C'mon man.
Yeah, I feel like shit. Was soo stupid, I went through all the sickness and when I was finally starting to feel better, my mental cravings get the better of me. I am still a slave to the dragon who constricts my body, mind, and soul.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633400 - 07/31/12 06:14 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I will be in a treatment center by Monday- Tuesday at the latest, I just truly have some school stuff I cant mess up right now. Even if it means doing dope for another week. I have to finish up getting my financial aid approved and setup for 3 weeks from now and I am approaching the deadlines to get those accepted. And I still have to meet with academic advisors and get my class schedule picked out for next semester.
At least having detox'd once this past week it shouldnt be AS taxing on me as it could be
Im working on it. I will be clean before school starts and I WILL NOT be using while in school
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P-O
Registered: 10/08/11
Posts: 17,891
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633401 - 07/31/12 06:19 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
I will be clean before school starts and I WILL NOT be using while in school
I bet $4.20 you will
(good luck tho dood)
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still beLIEve
State Property..Again
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,167
Loc: a world thats not my own
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633403 - 07/31/12 06:30 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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don't set expectations like that for yourself pickelz, because if you relapse you'll be overcome with guilt. wondering why you cant uphold a simple promise to yourself, etc etc. leading you to continue using in a sea of self pity
instead, take it one day at a time. if you slip, pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and go about your way. slips happen.
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niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: P-O]
#633404 - 07/31/12 06:35 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thanks man, I dont know, I have a certain determination knowing that everything in my life right now is riding on having a good semester. I am at rock bottom right now, I am just crawling across the bottom until I get some other shit taken care of. But believe me, I am ready to get clean, I just need to get some shit done first and get a support system in place.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633419 - 07/31/12 09:52 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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So then when are you going to do your stint in jail? Seems like you have more important things than school to take care of in all honesty. School will be there when you get out.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633423 - 07/31/12 10:23 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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The most important thing is getting healthy. You can do it. You have the strength. You don't have to feel like shit about yourself. You aren't, you are a beautiful person. You are only a slave to what you allow yourself to be. Just relax, let it be, and whatever you do don't use.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633436 - 08/01/12 12:46 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
So then when are you going to do your stint in jail? Seems like you have more important things than school to take care of in all honesty. School will be there when you get out.
no it wont. I am on my last stand with my school and with federal financial assistance. if I fuck up this time, then I wont be able to go to college. My recovery can wait a week while I get all my stuff in order. I am holding out til I get some money so I wont have to go to jail. Ive already done 55 days, so if I can come up with money to do these classes, then I can avoid any additional jail time
Quote:
FRACTALife said:
The most important thing is getting healthy. You can do it. You have the strength. You don't have to feel like shit about yourself. You aren't, you are a beautiful person. You are only a slave to what you allow yourself to be. Just relax, let it be, and whatever you do don't use.
Thanks Fractal
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633438 - 08/01/12 12:49 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hmm.....I'm pretty sure you can always go to college. Maybe not a university, but CC is always there for ya after you fuck up, and then you can transfer back to a university after that. And if you're just doing you're bachelors you should be going this route anyways.
Doing all 4 years at a State school these days is very unwise considering everything that is going on.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
Hmm.....I'm pretty sure you can always go to college. Maybe not a university, but CC is always there for ya after you fuck up, and then you can transfer back to a university after that. And if you're just doing you're bachelors you should be going this route anyways.
Doing all 4 years at a State school these days is very unwise considering everything that is going on.
I could but I am already 3 years into my degree program at one of the top universities in the entire country for my studies. Which is specializing in renewable energy and green technologies. I just spent a month and half filing appeals, meeting with deans, and getting myself back into school, im not about to go fuck that up as well. My detox can be on hold for a week.
I am not regressing from my university to losing financial aid and my scholarships and going to a shitty community college. Plus I am too far along in my program for a community college.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633442 - 08/01/12 01:04 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Awe shit man I didn't know you were that far into it man. Congrats.
Well I hope you do it man. I know I give you a lot of shit, but I really would love to see ya get clean. I do know the struggle, I fail every now and again as well. But I just stick to the Trammies now....and few and far between at that.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Thanks man, yeah ill be able to have my Bachelors in 3 semesters. Possibly could get it done in Fall+ Spring + Summer classes
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Picklez]
#633444 - 08/01/12 01:09 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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That'd be amazing. Quite a bit of an accomplishment.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633445 - 08/01/12 01:11 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Well I'm Bored, I'm sure some of you remember Inverted. Well here is his Ex-girlfriend on 20/20 doing a thing about heroin addiction. Ashley was his Ex, He got her into it. Its funny because she says she thought it was hash the first time, Pretty sure I was there and that girl knew exactly what she was doing. I told her not to do it but of course that makes her want to do it more...Anyway, enjoy!
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633446 - 08/01/12 01:18 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Was that really Inverted's lady? If so
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633447 - 08/01/12 01:24 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hahaha Straight up that's her, 20/20 paid for a 200k Treatment center in Florida and shes been sober since, just hit 2 years I think.
I was talking to her the other day and she told me Inverted has been texting her saying he broke up with his girlfriend and is getting sober...
His girlfriend is 19, hes 27. They started dating when she was 17, He also his this girlfriend into heroin and shooting up. So his current girlfriend is sick of being a drug addict and wants to leave inverted, but inverted keeps her trapped in the relationship by telling her if she breaks up with him hes going to tell her parents shes a heroin addict. Its really fucked up and I hate him for it.
so I have no idea why inverted is saying he broke up with his girlfriend because they are still dating.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633448 - 08/01/12 01:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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What a bag of douche. I'm surprised his prior GF doesn't change her number. I wouldn't want an asshole like that knowing how to get a hold of me.
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633469 - 08/01/12 10:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's some fucked up shit. I didn't know Inverted very well but he seemed cool, not so much anymore. Either way though I've missed seeing you guys posing here. You and Inverted are pretty close though, right? Is he just going through some hard times?
I'm glad you are doing better. Keep away from the H, and you'll start to have those good emotions coming back to and you'll realize the sun coming up is a beautiful thing. 
Do you guys consider using only cannabis and psychedelics "clean & sober" or does being involved in any drug use make it easier to relapse?
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still beLIEve
State Property..Again
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,167
Loc: a world thats not my own
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633492 - 08/01/12 01:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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i have a nakie picture of his girlfriend, not sure which one though
looks like the one in 20/20 tbh lol
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niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633497 - 08/01/12 03:13 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dude I'd like to run up on him in a dark alley.
Quote:
still beLIEve said:
i have a nakie picture of his girlfriend, not sure which one though
looks like the one in 20/20 tbh lol
Yes I have the same pictures.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633499 - 08/01/12 03:18 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I wanna see said pictures 
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,079
Loc: No where ville, USA
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Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
I wanna see said pictures
http://www.growery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/315024#315024
If you want more.
Do the searching.
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Hawksresurrection
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 13,464
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth]
#633505 - 08/01/12 03:48 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm lazy 
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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.
-niteowl
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kyuzo
Stranger Than Fiction
Registered: 07/05/10
Posts: 981
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Stoneth] 1
#633510 - 08/01/12 05:32 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Stoneth said:
Quote:
hawksapprentice said:
I wanna see said pictures
http://www.growery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/315024#315024
If you want more.
Do the searching.
lol, that totally IS her
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Lucid
Monster Plant Creator
Registered: 07/18/08
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Canada-ish.
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633517 - 08/01/12 06:27 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
FRACTALife said:
That's some fucked up shit. I didn't know Inverted very well but he seemed cool, not so much anymore. Either way though I've missed seeing you guys posing here. You and Inverted are pretty close though, right? Is he just going through some hard times?
I'm glad you are doing better. Keep away from the H, and you'll start to have those good emotions coming back to and you'll realize the sun coming up is a beautiful thing.
Do you guys consider using only cannabis and psychedelics "clean & sober" or does being involved in any drug use make it easier to relapse?
Inverted and I were best friends for quite some time, but after I left treatment I started to think a lot clearer. He got both of his last 2 girlfriends addicted to heroin and even lied to his current girl and told her it was opium for like the first 6 months. That really changed my view on Inverted, plus since he went full on junkie (has no bills lives at home and spends $800 a week on heroin) I never see the kid, I drove him around for years and now I don't have a car and he can't be bothered to ever come chill with me. The dope has changed the guy, and not for the better.
Thank you for the kind words, I'll stay away from the H for good this time. On the clean and sober thing, I'm just going to stay away from heroin. Treatment centers will drill into your head the idea that if you ever do another drug, ever again you will become addicted to it and die in a ditch full of broken glass.
As far as the sun goes, I'm more of a night person, Carpe Noctem.
-Lucid
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633518 - 08/01/12 06:56 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lucid said:
Quote:
FRACTALife said:
That's some fucked up shit. I didn't know Inverted very well but he seemed cool, not so much anymore. Either way though I've missed seeing you guys posing here. You and Inverted are pretty close though, right? Is he just going through some hard times?
I'm glad you are doing better. Keep away from the H, and you'll start to have those good emotions coming back to and you'll realize the sun coming up is a beautiful thing.
Do you guys consider using only cannabis and psychedelics "clean & sober" or does being involved in any drug use make it easier to relapse?
Inverted and I were best friends for quite some time, but after I left treatment I started to think a lot clearer. He got both of his last 2 girlfriends addicted to heroin and even lied to his current girl and told her it was opium for like the first 6 months. That really changed my view on Inverted, plus since he went full on junkie (has no bills lives at home and spends $800 a week on heroin) I never see the kid, I drove him around for years and now I don't have a car and he can't be bothered to ever come chill with me. The dope has changed the guy, and not for the better.
Thank you for the kind words, I'll stay away from the H for good this time. On the clean and sober thing, I'm just going to stay away from heroin. Treatment centers will drill into your head the idea that if you ever do another drug, ever again you will become addicted to it and die in a ditch full of broken glass.
As far as the sun goes, I'm more of a night person, Carpe Noctem.
-Lucid
I am a night person too, but staying up until four or five in the morning makes it harder to be your best during the day.
That sucks he changed so much though. One good thing we get out of this whole ordeal is growery is now the home of celebrity nude pics.
It's unfortunate treatment centers drill that into people's heads. I'd imagine it would be responsible for a few relapses, when a guy just smokes a joint and he figures he might as well do heroin because the rehab center told him it was just as bad and would lead to that.
Also sad because I bet cannabis and some psychedelics can really help in overcoming addiction. I know the guy who founded AA used LSD to get over his alcoholism. People have had a lot of success using LSD, iboga, ayahuasca and other chemicals to overcome addictions and start new. And I'd imagine cannabis can make the withdrawals less excruciating and give them another substance to use as a substitute.
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Fisherman
Stranger
Registered: 08/15/10
Posts: 940
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: FRACTALife]
#633555 - 08/02/12 04:48 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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y'all crazeh..
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: forever junkie [Re: Lucid]
#633567 - 08/02/12 07:47 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's some crazy shit lucid
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