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elcharrosays
Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 2,757
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Re: Oh god, the bible man! [Re: RasJeph]
#380002 - 03/08/10 12:34 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was drunk and happened upon a group of traveling Mormon missionaries once. We "talked" about stuff and it turned out I knew a lot more about the Bible than they did so I pretty much just berated them with insults. One of them tried to hand me a Book of Mormon and I was like "I'll piss on this shit!" and spun around and threw it in the street, just barely missing hitting on in the face. We parted ways.
I felt a little bad about it later so I went up to their headquarters up the road and asked to speak with them again but nobody knew their whereabouts so a group of like 5 men sat down and talked with me instead. We had a very surprisingly good conversation on theology but they gradually gave up not being able to answer questions until at last there was only one left. We talked for several hours and he followed me outside so I could smoke a cigarette. We stayed out there talking until everybody left and the head preacher man came out telling us it was time.
Almost makes me feel a little guilty for all the parties I had on top of their roof and all the girls I took up there for hanky-panky. Almost.
Then a few months back I went to a Baptist church to have an honest conversation with someone and hopefully have some questions floating around in my head answered. I wasn't trying to be malicious in the slightest and I was waaay less drunk this time than with the Mormons. They set me up with some 40 year old meth head who ended up flipping his shit on me and having me escorted off of the premises by a police officer. That shit was ridiculous.
..and then like two days ago I ran into him again only this time he was on my turf. We were sitting outside the restaurant playing card games and putting away pitchers of Yuengling when he and his family sat down at the table next to us. He asked us to watch our language because he had kids around so I start mouthing off and being sarcastic, "lets try and visualize our words guys, we've got to watch our language!" His wifey got bitchy and we had some lulz. Finally bitch-boy gets up and runs inside to be a little snitch and complain on us. Comes walking back out mean-mugging me like "you're gonna get it now boy!" and I smile back. Garfield comes out (not his real name but I swear to god he looks identical to the fat cat) and asks us not to cuss so much any more. Nobody gives a shit and all of the employees are inside laughing their asses off. So yeah we go back to doing our thing getting drunk and accidentally letting the frequent "fuck" or "shit" fly by. I look over to their table and this girl in a wheelchair is straight glaring me down. She had quite the impressive "I'm a stone cold bitch" look like she's really spent plenty of time in front of the mirror practicing it. I'll never forget her face- god that shit was hilarious.
Moral of the belated story: Mormons > Baptists.
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elcharrosays
Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 2,757
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Re: Oh god, the bible man! [Re: Homosapian]
#381683 - 03/11/10 12:41 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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elcharrosays
Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 2,757
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Re: Oh god, the bible man! [Re: Homosapian]
#381685 - 03/11/10 12:47 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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elcharrosays
Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 2,757
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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