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 TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
 
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City 
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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 This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid But Never mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? 
#364098 - 02/14/10 03:02 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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So, its Valentines Day and again, and like every year, I have no one to love.....
To cope, the last 4 years have been making it a ritual to go out and buy a dozen roses, a couple "apple pie" scented candles, download my favorite lesbian porn and buy a big bottle of Jergins(r) brand lotion, and please myself, by myself, in the lonely cold night that is Valentines Day....
But this year, I'm going to try something different....
I just got some good acid about a week ago, and I thought, what a better holiday to do acid then Valentines Day? And what a better time to go to a strip club then Valentines Day....
I've got the perfect club in mind....Its called "The Candy Shop" and the entrance is 18 and up (even thou I'm 22). Not only is the entrance limitations 18 and up, but the models are too! And I love the young girls, but not too young, 18 years old is my limit. And the reviews said it was multi-racial! My favorite kind of women! (according to my internet research).
Here's the the Tips I've Learned thus far from my internet research (and that one time I went to a strip club in Portland on Halloween),
for having the best Strip Club Experience ever....
- DO NOT Masturbate before you go to the club. Hold off for at least 2 days Minimum (Check! Last day was Friday night)
- Wear thin-clothed sweat pants or wind-breaks and by all means Do Not Wear underwear
- Bring only $1 bills and $20 bills, nothing else. And no change: Strippers don't like it when you throw quarters at them
- Before you get a lapdance, ask the girl: "Are you a post-op women?" (You don't wanna be surprized later)
- No cameras or video camcorders! (I really hate this tip, but its strip club rules....)
- Do NOT bring your own bright flashlight. The blacklighting is dark for a reason, and the bouncers don't like you shining up the "pretty" girls.
- When getting a lapdance, do NOT touch the girls: she can only touch YOU.* There is an expection: if you paid $100 for a 5 minute dance, you are allowed to touch her forearms and shoulders, but thats IT! No where else. (That sucks a big one.
 )
- Don't piss off the bouncer (see above)
- Like going to a restraunt, Come Hungery. Strip clubs usually have excellent all-you-can-eat buffets, so don't eat 2 days before the trip to the club (just like the masturbation rule)
- Don't assume every girl in there is a dancer....some girls go with their boyfriends (
 ), and some even go with their girlfriends (the friends kind, not the sexy kind). Asking a girl for a 5 minute lapdance when they are not might piss them off, or compliment them, I'm not sure.
- Don't fall victim to "stripper girlfriend". Stripper girlfriend is when you think the stripper is in love with you because of how she looks at you with her amazing space-crystal eyes and soul-melting smiling. Remember, its their job to be really friendly: thats what gets them cumming back...
- Don't buy alcohol at the strip club: its very expensive! Drink alcohol on the way there, and enter the club drunk (but not too drunk, or you'll get kicked out) -> This doesn't apply to me, because I'll be on acid, and I don't need no stinkin' alcohol on acid.....
- This rule is very important and must be followed!!! No matter how hot the girls are, do NOT masturbate inside the strip club! That will surely piss off the bouncer! Its best to masturbate inside your car, in the parking lot, after you're "done" inside.
- Arrive at the club at night. That's when all the pretty models come on stage.
- If you're on a budget, don't sit at the front row at the stage. Front row sitters have to give cash to the dancers as they are dancing. That will get expensive if you're not rolling in it.
- Last rule: Have fun! Its all about watching hot girls get naked, getting a boner and hiding it from your felllow guy "friends", then spanking your salami when you get back in your car.
I think that's about it, is there anything I'm missing?
One thing I couldn't find is when is the best time to get to the strip club? 10pm? 11pm? Midnight? 1 in the morning?
And the Acid will come in handy in seeing in the dark, blacklight-lit stage, because my eyes will be as big as cats eyes hunting in the dark. Thanks for the side effect! Acid, You're my best friend! 
Thanks for any tips to you experienced strip club goers.
  
Its going to be one Amazing Valentines Day..... 
For all those who are not lonely:
Enjoy that intimate V.D. sex!
~ TrueHerbCrystal ~   
Edited by TrueHerbCrystal (02/16/10 03:00 AM)
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NobodyImportant
Science Is Subculture
Registered: 05/03/08
Posts: 4,981
Loc: Jawjuh.
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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 Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#364101 - 02/14/10 03:08 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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lol sounds like an experience
Good luck communicating with anybody (or making sense to them anyway)
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Glass By: US Tubes, ZOB, Roor.de, Sheldon Black, Jerome Baker, Medicali, Kennaroo, Sand, Alex K, Local and Unknown Artists
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 m00nshine
HEDONISMBOT
Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 3,148
Loc: INEUPHORIA
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#364102 - 02/14/10 03:10 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Try to find a full contact strip club, you can grab anything. Also, you can spank it in the bathroom. 
Just be cool and respectful pretty much.
I can't believe you did all that research 
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NobodyImportant
Science Is Subculture
Registered: 05/03/08
Posts: 4,981
Loc: Jawjuh.
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: m00nshine]
#364104 - 02/14/10 03:11 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
m00nshine said:
I can't believe you did all that research
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Glass By: US Tubes, ZOB, Roor.de, Sheldon Black, Jerome Baker, Medicali, Kennaroo, Sand, Alex K, Local and Unknown Artists
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TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: m00nshine]
#364107 - 02/14/10 03:17 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
m00nshine said:
Try to find a full contact strip club, you can grab anything. Also, you can spank it in the bathroom.
Just be cool and respectful pretty much.
I can't believe you did all that research
Good point, I guess I'll have to do some MORE research....But I love the internet, so its all good. Is that true thou, full contact, like hands anywhere on her hot, sweaty body? Seems too good to be true for a Valentines Day gift....
P.S. That "door-opening" germlin strangely fits very nicely with the "wacking in the bathroom thing"....good choice!
I Hope its like Football...
~ TrueHerbCrystal ~
Edited by TrueHerbCrystal (02/14/10 03:22 PM)
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m00nshine
HEDONISMBOT
Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 3,148
Loc: INEUPHORIA
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#364109 - 02/14/10 03:23 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
TrueHerbCrystal said:
Quote:
m00nshine said:
Try to find a full contact strip club, you can grab anything. Also, you can spank it in the bathroom.
Just be cool and respectful pretty much.
I can't believe you did all that research
Good point, I guess I'll have to do some MORE research....But I love the internet, so its all good. Is that true thou, full contact, like hands anywhere on her hot, sweaty body? Seems too good to be true for a Valentines Day gift....
I Hope its like Football...
~ TrueHerbCrystal ~
Very true, my friend. I like Fantasies in RI. You can massage boobs, rub the puss no problem. 
Last time I went there, I got a lap dance from a brazilian chick, played with her boobs, kissed her, and she gave me a handjob.... all for $30. But, I'm half brazilian and speak the language, so I think if I wasn't I wouldn't have gotten popped off or kissed. But the boobs and puss are guaranteed
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TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: m00nshine]
#364111 - 02/14/10 03:36 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Really! Wow....
Was this some underground, secretive strip club, or is hand jobs and puss rubbing pretty typical lap dance protocol?
Seems like you got lucky by being able to speak Portagese: I just hope I get that lucky with my very limited Espanol...."Ouu Mami! Yo Queiro tu boobies mucho. Es muy grande y muy...como se dices 'soft'?"
That might work out. Hopefully there's some smoking latinas I can talk to in their native "tongue"....Hmmmm...
Thanks for the tip m00nshine.
P.S. I thought you were a girl: your profile icon under your name is a "Female" icon....I'm confused...
Lo Siento my amor, Mi chorizo es no grande.
~ TrueHerbCrystal ~
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NobodyImportant
Science Is Subculture
Registered: 05/03/08
Posts: 4,981
Loc: Jawjuh.
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#364113 - 02/14/10 03:41 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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theres no girls on the internet, period.
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Glass By: US Tubes, ZOB, Roor.de, Sheldon Black, Jerome Baker, Medicali, Kennaroo, Sand, Alex K, Local and Unknown Artists
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Shr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: NobodyImportant]
#364117 - 02/14/10 03:45 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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And the one that was we scared off 
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If I'm posting I'm high.
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m00nshine
HEDONISMBOT
Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 3,148
Loc: INEUPHORIA
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#364119 - 02/14/10 03:49 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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You are hilarious, dude 
Yeah, I'm going to change that, I'm definitely a man. The reason it was set to female in the first place is a boring story, so I'll spare ya. This isn't an undergound or secretive strip club, just full contact. During the lap dance you can grab her tits and rub her pussy and run your hands over her body. You getting a handjob or a kiss or anything is up to your  abilities. Most likely she'll at least rub your cawk through your pants.
Protip: Drop the 'cid and grab some coke, an 8ball if you can. Let her know you got some coke and you want to have some fun  Most likely you'll leave getting more than you expected. Also, if you're decent looking, a smooth talker, AND you got the coke, she'll most likely spend the night at your place. Just play your cards right.
Dale tu leche, gringo. Buena suerte.
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m00nshine
HEDONISMBOT
Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 3,148
Loc: INEUPHORIA
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
#364120 - 02/14/10 03:49 PM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shr0000ooooms said:
And the one that was we scared off
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Ojom
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 333
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: m00nshine]
#364581 - 02/15/10 02:46 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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It sounds like Rhode Island has some relaxed laws about strip clubs, or very poor enforcement.
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Thebooedocksaint
Dead Dictator
Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 5,729
Loc: Wild & Free
Last seen: 1 month, 15 days
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: Ojom]
#364586 - 02/15/10 06:46 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ojom said:
It sounds like Rhode Island has some relaxed laws about strip clubs, or very poor enforcement.
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"Je pense, donc je suis (I am thinking, therefore I am)." -Rene Descartes
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Homosapian
DMT
Registered: 12/25/09
Posts: 484
Loc: Austin , TX
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: Thebooedocksaint]
#364664 - 02/15/10 11:16 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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i have never been to a stripclub  but i will surely use your tips 
i still dont get the point ... paying a hoe so much money for a quick dance..
just go to craiglist and fuck a hooker yo.
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m3kgt
User
Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 1,011
Loc: G-Spot TX
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: Homosapian]
#364670 - 02/15/10 11:33 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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I used to work valet at 1 here in austin a few years back. easiest/ best job evar!
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hopanshrubman
The Rabble Rouser
Registered: 02/12/10
Posts: 347
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: m3kgt]
#364673 - 02/15/10 11:44 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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That was absolutely perfect. :]
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TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#365062 - 02/16/10 01:34 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Well, I'm back. And what an experience...
The trip there was a lot more complicated and difficult than I expected, which was entirely the fault of my excessive procrastation and lack of planning.
Let me start from the beginning....(if you wanna skip the long, boring backstory and go straight to the strip club experience, skip to my next post with the ">>> <<<" arrows)
First, It was Sunday night and I was cruizing the Shroomery like I always do. Then I looked at the time, and it was 9:00pm. I realized that I needed to get some cash bad, and the best place to get it is this department store named "Fred Meyer" (I call it Freddy's) because I could withdrawl by buying something without that pesky withdrawl fee of ATM's. The Store closes at 11:00pm, but I'm only a block away, so I don't worry too much. I had time...or so I thought.
So I'm on Shroomery a little more, because I "feel" like I have lots of time.
---------- Side Story: CraigsList Ad ----------
I also go back-and-forth to my email, which strangely, I was getting some messages from "girls" (they never sent photos). And the weird thing was, they were real. I actually did the ad as a joke, because I thought no girl would just wanna be fingered next to colorful fabrics, a fake tree branch, and a burning candle, as pictured in my posted photos. I was wrong, they were real messages from real people. This made me reconsidered the whole strip club experience, because it seemed like CraigsList babes would be better overall. But I wanted to try something new, so I descided to go to the club instead.
They seemed real, especially considering that I did this before on CL, and got LOTS of fake ones....they were all the same, generic format, with links to other dating sites. Pretty lame. I also got this one really weird message from a guy who claims he is in a wheelchair (paraplegic, I guess) and can't have sex with his wife, and wants me to do it for him. "He" even sent a photo of a man in a wheelchair with a girl pushing him. Very suspious...I'll post the actual sent email and attached photos some time later (with addresses/names censored, of course).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, Back to the story....then I look at the clock, its 10:20pm. I start to panic a little: I quickly went to the bathroom and trimmed my pubes using an electric razor to almost bald because that would increase the physical contact to my wang during a lapdance (add that to the "tips" list). I accidently nicked my skin around my wang-area, causing some minor bleeding. I was a little worried because of Venereal Diseases (V.D.) Then, I got in the shower and cleaned myself off of the messy pubes. I also used coconut-flavored shampoo because I figured the ladies would like that smell in my hair.
I quickly dried off from showering, put the thinnest pants on I could find (w/ no underwear), and got a belt, but the belt fit loose without underwear, so I quickly drilled a hole using a power drill and the bit I've been using to build my new Fruiting Chamber. At that point, I remembered I didn't print/write down the address of "The Nile". I turned on the PC and write down the address on the piece of paper. Now its 10:45pm. Its gttin' too close.
Right before leaving: Now I'm really moving, putting my shoes on, turning off the PC, grabbed my checkbook, the metal Altoid container with my half-hit of Smartie acid and grabbed my bulky wallet. I'm practically running out the door in a rush to make it to Freddy's for that tax-free cash withdrawl.
I make to Freddy's just in time, 5 minutes til closing. I grab some snacks and head to the cashiers...and just so happens, its that women. This women I'm referring to is an older women, 40's maybe, and I think she is a little obsessed with me, as in, my physical apperance. Every time she gives me the bag of food, she gives me a very long attentive eye contact with her space-crystal eyes and a warm smile that always makes me kinda awkward. She's not totally ugly, but she does have a humpback like Nostradam. And everytime she talks to me, her voice sounds really nervous, like she's imitimated by me or something, which makes me nervous. And a couple times, when she gave me the recipit, I would carress the hand holding it just to make her feel like I wanted her. Felt pretty good, but I always feel guilty because the college girls who work there are silly hot, and I'm much more attractive to them.
Anyway, the fact that this cashier lady who I have a strange, subtle flirting/turn-you-on relationship with was there working that night gave me a good sign of whats to come.
So I make the purchase and withdrawl and got $20 cash. I had $6 in my wallet already, so its $26 total. Not much for a strip club, but that's all I wanted to spend. The rest on my card was to be used for gas (about $15 for gas), which I needed for the 80 mile round-trip drive.
Went to the only gas station still open...and strangely there is an Indian guy from India who could barely speak English working there. This was new. I usually just see locals pumping gas, but this was pretty interesting.
After the gas was pumped, I went to look for the address I had written down, to enter in my old Garmin(r) road navigation device, which is what I used A LOT for driving (Its invaluable when you drive to new places. Saves so much stress in driving). So, I looked in all my pockets, and I couldn't find the paper I had written the Nile address on. I also realized that I forgot my cell phone as well. No calling the operator to get the address or calling for emergencies. Now I'm pissed at myself: my excessive procrastating is pretty much ruining my life! I was already 15 miles from my place, so there was no driving back: it was too late.
Luckily, I remembered the address to Nile: 1030 Hwy 99 N, Eugene, OR. I entered it into Garmin, but all I got was "Hwy 99, Eugene, OR". It wasn't specific about the road number at all, which made me worry. But, I realized I'll likely see the sign for "The Nile" when I'm on Hwy 99, so I went with it.
Well, after an hour of driving, I make it to Hwy 99, and I don't see The Nile. I look all over for it, and realized I was driving north, toward my hometown. I turned around and started looking for any store open: nothing. Its a holiday now (its 12:30am) sinces its Presidents Day. Not looking good. I descide to find a convience store, to look for a pay phone, which usual have phone books so I can look up the right adress.
I enter "7-Eleven" into Garmin and start driving. About 0.5mile before 7-Eleven, I see a little convience store with a payphone. Jackpot! I stop, and look up "The Nile". Not there. So, I look in the yellow pages, under "entertainment". The pages are ripped out. Frick! So, as a back-up, I look up "The Candy Shack". Got the address. 2252 Main Street, Eugene,OR. I head to 7-11 anyway, because I'm so close, and its open!
I go inside the 7-Eleven, and like a sureal dream, there are 2 Indian guys (from India) working there who could barely speak English. There were really Indian: turban on head, long beards, the clothes....This is weird because the 7-Eleven in my town has a family (?) of Indians (from India), but the ones in my hometown didn't look as "Indian" as the ones at this store. This sterotype is getting too real for me, that I've descided I need to do some research on 7-Elevens and India-Immigrants...Do they own the store? Why do they always work in 7-Eleven? Does 7-Eleven import these people? What the hell is going on?
Well, I'm back. And what an experience...
The trip there was a lot more complicated and difficult than I expected, which was entirely the fault of my excessive procrastation and lack of planning.
Let me start from the beginning....(if you wanna skip the long, boring backstory and go straight to the strip club experience, scroll down to the ">>> <<<" arrows)
First, It was Sunday night and I was cruizing the Shroomery like I always do. Then I looked at the time, and it was 9:00pm. I realized that I needed to get some cash bad, and the best place to get it is this department store named "Fred Meyer" (I call it Freddy's) because I could withdrawl by buying something without that pesky withdrawl fee of ATM's. The Store closes at 11:00pm, but I'm only a block away, so I don't worry too much. I had time...or so I thought.
So I'm on Shroomery a little more, because I "feel" like I have lots of time.
---------- Side Story: CraigsList Ad ----------
I also go back-and-forth to my email, which strangely, I was getting some messages from "girls" (they never sent photos). And the weird thing was, they were real. I actually did the ad as a joke, because I thought no girl would just wanna be fingered next to colorful fabrics, a fake tree branch, and a burning candle, as pictured in my posted photos. I was wrong, they were real messages from real people. This made me reconsidered the whole strip club experience, because it seemed like CraigsList babes would be better overall. But I wanted to try something new, so I descided to go to the club instead.
Well, I'm back. And what an experience...
The trip there was a lot more complicated and difficult than I expected, which was entirely the fault of my excessive procrastation and lack of planning.
Let me start from the beginning....(my writing is getting a little too long, so I'm spliting it into 2 stories, the Back Story and the Strip Club Experience. If you don't wanna read the very long and boring Back Story, see my next post that starts with this: ">>> The Strip Club Experience <<<")
The Back-Story
First, It was Sunday night and I was cruizing the Shroomery like I always do. Then I looked at the time, and it was 9:00pm. I realized that I needed to get some cash bad, and the best place to get it is this department store named "Fred Meyer" (I call it Freddy's) because I could withdrawl by buying something without that pesky withdrawl fee of ATM's. The Store closes at 11:00pm, but I'm only a block away, so I don't worry too much. I had time...or so I thought.
So I'm on Shroomery a little more, because I "feel" like I have lots of time.
---------- Side Story: CraigsList Ad ----------
I also go back-and-forth to my email, which strangely, I was getting some messages from "girls" (they never sent photos). And the weird thing was, they were real. I actually did the ad as a joke, because I thought no girl would just wanna be fingered next to colorful fabrics, a fake tree branch, and a burning candle, as pictured in my posted photos. I was wrong, they were real messages from real people. This made me reconsidered the whole strip club experience, because it seemed like CraigsList babes would be better overall. But I wanted to try something new, so I descided to go to the club instead.
They seemed real, especially considering that I did this before on CL, and got LOTS of fake ones....they were all the same, generic format, with links to other dating sites. Pretty lame. I also got this one really weird message from a guy who claims he is in a wheelchair (paraplegic, I guess) and can't have sex with his wife, and wants me to do it for him. "He" even sent a photo of a man in a wheelchair with a girl pushing him. Very suspious...I'll post the actual sent email and attached photos some time later (with addresses/names censored, of course).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, Back to the story....then I look at the clock, its 10:20pm. I start to panic a little: I quickly went to the bathroom and trimmed my pubes using an electric razor to almost bald because that would increase the physical contact to my wang during a lapdance (add that to the "tips" list). I accidently nicked my skin around my wang-area, causing some minor bleeding. I was a little worried because of Venereal Diseases (V.D.) Then, I got in the shower and cleaned myself off of the messy pubes. I also used coconut-flavored shampoo because I figured the ladies would like that smell in my hair.
I quickly dried off from showering, put the thinnest pants on I could find (w/ no underwear), and got a belt, but the belt fit loose without underwear, so I quickly drilled a hole using a power drill and the bit I've been using to build my new Fruiting Chamber. At that point, I remembered I didn't print/write down the address of "The Nile". I turned on the PC and write down the address on the piece of paper. Now its 10:45pm. Its gttin' too close.
Right before leaving: Now I'm really moving, putting my shoes on, turning off the PC, grabbed my checkbook, the metal Altoid container with my half-hit of Smartie acid and grabbed my bulky wallet. I'm practically running out the door in a rush to make it to Freddy's for that tax-free cash withdrawl.
I make to Freddy's just in time, 5 minutes til closing. I grab some snacks and head to the cashiers...and just so happens, its that women. This women I'm referring to is an older women, 40's maybe, and I think she is a little obsessed with me, as in, my physical apperance. Every time she gives me the bag of food, she gives me a very long attentive eye contact with her space-crystal eyes and a warm smile that always makes me kinda awkward. She's not totally ugly, but she does have a humpback like Nostradam. And everytime she talks to me, her voice sounds really nervous, like she's imitimated by me or something, which makes me nervous. And a couple times, when she gave me the recipit, I would carress the hand holding it just to make her feel like I wanted her. Felt pretty good, but I always feel guilty because the college girls who work there are silly hot, and I'm much more attractive to them.
Anyway, the fact that this cashier lady who I have a strange, subtle flirting/turn-you-on relationship with was there working that night gave me a good sign of whats to come.
So I make the purchase and withdrawl and got $20 cash. I had $6 in my wallet already, so its $26 total. Not much for a strip club, but that's all I wanted to spend. The rest on my card was to be used for gas (about $15 for gas), which I needed for the 80 mile round-trip drive.
Went to the only gas station still open...and strangely there is an Indian guy from India who could barely speak English working there. This was new. I usually just see locals pumping gas, but this was pretty interesting.
After the gas was pumped, I went to look for the address I had written down, to enter in my old Garmin(r) road navigation device, which is what I used A LOT for driving (Its invaluable when you drive to new places. Saves so much stress in driving). So, I looked in all my pockets, and I couldn't find the paper I had written the Nile address on. I also realized that I forgot my cell phone as well. No calling the operator to get the address or calling for emergencies. Now I'm pissed at myself: my excessive procrastating is pretty much ruining my life! I was already 15 miles from my place, so there was no driving back: it was too late.
Luckily, I remembered the address to Nile: 1030 Hwy 99 N, Eugene, OR. I entered it into Garmin, but all I got was "Hwy 99, Eugene, OR". It wasn't specific about the road number at all, which made me worry. But, I realized I'll likely see the sign for "The Nile" when I'm on Hwy 99, so I went with it.
Well, after an hour of driving, I make it to Hwy 99, and I don't see The Nile. I look all over for it, and realized I was driving north, toward my hometown. I turned around and started looking for any store open: nothing. Its a holiday now (its 12:30am) sinces its Presidents Day. Not looking good. I descide to find a convience store, to look for a pay phone, which usual have phone books so I can look up the right adress.
I enter "7-Eleven" into Garmin and start driving. About 0.5mile before 7-Eleven, I see a little convience store with a payphone. Jackpot! I stop, and look up "The Nile". Not there. So, I look in the yellow pages, under "entertainment". The pages are ripped out. Frick! So, as a back-up, I look up "The Candy Shack". Got the address. 2252 Main Street, Eugene,OR. I head to 7-11 anyway, because I'm so close, and its open!
I go inside the 7-Eleven, and like a sureal dream, there are 2 Indian guys (from India) working there who could barely speak English. There were really Indian: turban on head, long beards, the clothes....This is weird because the 7-Eleven in my town has a family (?) of Indians (from India), but the ones in my hometown didn't look as "Indian" as the ones at this store. This sterotype is getting too real for me, that I've descided I need to do some research on 7-Elevens and India-Immigrants...Do they own the store? Why do they always work in 7-Eleven? Does 7-Eleven import these people? What the hell is going on?
Anyway, I ask the turban Indian where the phone book was, he looked confused...So I did a "phone to ear" gesture with my hand, and he pointed to the phone book. Looked up Nile, there it was...but it was the same address I remembered! Frick!.
Because of the Nile address that Garmin won't understand, I descided to go to my original pick, "The Candy Shack", which later turns out to be the best desicion of the entire night.....
So its about 12:45am, and I'm driving toward downtown Eugene to Candy Shack....I'm driving, then I remembered Google Maps, The Candy Shack location is not in Eugene, its in Springfield, the town right next to Eugene. I hate these confusing town-bleeding-into-eachother clusters of cities. Why don't they just call it one name? And where does one town begin and the other end?
Anyway, a quick change on Garmin, and I'm finally heading in the right direction.
Finally, I make it to the "Candy Shack"...I almost missed it because there are no signs that say "Candy Shack" on the building. What was weird at first was these guys in a big lifted pick-up truck, just waiting at the stop-sign to Main Street near the club. I turned around down the dirt road to park my car and these guys were still just at the stop sign, no traffic, just idling. Kinda strange, and it made me uneasy. But I went on my way, and parked in the *very* small parking "lot" (more like a patch) in front of the club.
>>> The Strip Club Experience <<<
So its about 1:00am, and I'm parked in front of "The Candy Shack", my first choice in my research. I made sure it wasn't already closed...turns out it closes at 2am. Just made it. So I'm still in my car and I start playing "Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland" in my deck and quickly took my half-hit of acid (which I could feel instantly, at least the subtle effect of the come-up experience) that I almost lost from opening up the Altoids container (it sprung open like it was spring-loaded). I noticed those 2 guys are still idling at the stop-sign.....what the hell is going with them...Anyway, I started the timer on my watch to monitor the trip progress and sat back and enjoy the first track. After drinking some water, I could already feel the acid come-up feeling....got my heart racing. The first track ended, and I was ready to inside the club....
First this I noticed was the entrance...very plain, with only a sign for the hours of operation and a very bright neon-green "ATM" sign. The sign was so bright, I couldn't see the door and had to block it with my hand....must have been the acid plus my unusually-high sensentivity to light (sober).
I walk inside the dark, plain building and the first thing I see is an older (30's?) pretty, black-haired girl sitting in a chair of a small very black-walled hallway. She looked like she was either really stoned or on heroin or something...she just looked out-of-it, like she was just about to black-out or fall asleep. Maybe it was because it was 1am in the morning, who knows. Needless to say, I found it oddly erotic, the long black hair and the drugged-out look.
Then, a guy walked in and said "Hi, can I see your ID?" Good thing I didn't forget that! I busted it out and handed it over to him..."Hawaii huh?" he said (I grew up on the Big Island). He started asking me the common "why did you move here?" questions, which I answered to the best of my ability, and he said. "Cool, you're good. Its $5 cover. Pay it to her (the black-hair women)." I said "OK" and handed it to her as I walked around the hallway. She gave me a big friendly smile, which felt great. I like nice, friendly people at sketchy joints. So, I walk thru the door.
First thing I notice is I'm the only one there! Sweet! That means that everything, including the poles, is like a private show (expect for the bouncers standing in the back). But, it also felt awkward too, for a couple of reasons. (A) I felt like I was one sad lonely man being the only one in the club at 1am in the morning and (B) I felt like now I'm the only the girls are coming to for their money because I'm the only paying customer! But I only have $26...sorry ladies, prevert on a budget.....
So, I see there is already a girl on the pole, dancing to some club rap music. Was she practicing? I guess they started since they knew I was coming in...ya know, to make it look like a "working" club or just a club that's very slow on business (for Valentines Day). I walk over to the front row bar, even thou I knew I had only one of those $1 left. I was the only one there...what would they do, kick me out for not tipping after I just walked in? I figured the cover charge was enough for one strip show.
So, the big white girl dancing on the pole, is pretty big, not obese, but she's a big girl (200lbs+?  ) but she was pretty say 7/10. What was nice is that the "stage" was at floor level not a raised stage (:) . All she is in is a small thong and a loose top that just covers her boobies, the kind that look like its a loose sling for fruit or something.
Then, they start playing this one club rap song I've heard...and she was so good at it. She was shaking her booty in sync to the song, and slapping her ass every so often. I couldn't help but laugh because she had awesome timing and the acid was making it all look so surreal, like, is this really happening right now? At one point, the big girl with the big booty comes over to wear I was sitting and opens up her loose top for me, showing her juggies in full, up-close and personal. Also, my hands were over the railings, and I could feel her naked thigh on my finger tips...its was so tempting to just grab her, but I knew that would not end well. Anyhow, the slight touching the top of my fingers on her thigh plus the full-reveal of her quite nice C-cup jugs gave me a total instantabonner. I gave her a dollar for her prime work, but I felt bad and guilty because she deserved much more for her abilites (sorry, its the only $1 I had left!). She did this intimate stuff 1 more time a little later in the song, which never dissappointed.
Its just so weird that a girl, who I just met inside the club, would do all this just after I payed th $5 cover charge....wow. Talk about a weird, erotic experience. Little talking, and she's already in my face with her almost naked body. Pretty odd but pretty nice too.
So, she goes back to dancing, and the colored lights hitting her starts to trip me out a bit: they are flashing in different colors on her and it makes me feel like time is "going-then-stopping" Like, a gas-and-break feeling. The lighting was very minimum, some low-light bulbs and mostly blacklights (standard) so I could barely see the girls body, but I think the acid did help a little with my ability to see more.
What was also great about this big white girl was she had some cool tricks: one was that she would slap her clear acrylic high-heals together and make a "Crack!" sound. Pretty cool. As this was happening, I noticed a very pretty girl on the other side of the railing, with super high-heals, getting ready. I could barely see her face, but she was nice-looking. Back to the original dancer...And her finale was right as the song ended, she got on the ground, head on the floor, back lifted off the ground with her legs spread apart from eachother. Then she started to shake her ass like how they do in black rap videos, and she was doing it in perfect sync with the music too. Classic strip club talent!
The song ended and she kept going and I arrupted into a round of applause. I was amazed at her stipping ability...she was born for this.
After the music went silent, she went over to me and said "Did you like the show?" I said "yes, It was awesome!". Then she said, "Would you like a lapdance". Then I nervously said "I'm going to wait until closing time to do it, ya know, as the finale." (even thou the real reaason is that I didn't want her to break my already my dong with her weight...that might hurt.) She said "OK, I'll see you later." She walked off stage.
Then, the pretty girl I saw gettin' ready took the stage, and her body was nice...Her body was much more proportionally than the other girl, which I like, but she was still thick in the butt and waist, which I love. She walked over to me and sat up on the railing and asked "Hey, what's your name?" I said "My name's LogicaL" (I didn't say that, its my stage name for this story). She said "My name is Bunny". Very generic stage name which doesn't do her beauty any good, but oh well. Then I immediately asked, "I noticed you got an interesting look going...are you half-black?" To me, she looked like a Hapa girl, meaning half-white and half-native, in this case, half-black, turns out, it was better than that...."No, I'm not black! I'm 1/4 Filipino, 1/4 Hawaiian, 1/4 (I forgot), and a 1/4 white. I actually asked my Dad about this and he said, your a 'mixed plate', ya know, like Hawaii." First I thought, Oh My God, this is my favorite type of girl, a multi-racial mix. has fate brought us together for this one amazing moment? And then I also thought, what a weird place to speak of your Dad, I wonder if he knows what she is doing.... Then I said, "Hey, I'm from Hawaii!". She said "Really? I'm actually just came over here from the Bay Area" I said "Oh, nice". After our short talk (some of it I likely don't remember accurately of the order) she went to dancing and came back, sat on the rail and pulled out her thong. She said "Wanna put a dollar?" I said "I don't have any. All I have left is $20, and I'm saving that for a lapdance." Then she said "Do you want one now?" I said "I was going to do it at the end of the show, at closing time." Then she said, "Oh, you can't be here at the rail if you're not going to tip. You wanna just have the lapdance?" I responed "Oh, yeah, I guess I'll just do it now...".
So I agreed and she walked off stage and I followed her. I felt guilty again because the big girl offered me a lapdance who was still right there in the same room, and I just chose the other smaller, multi-ethnic girl instead. I felt kinda bad taking the other girl's offer than the first one, but I was getting really excited about my first lapdance. And that desicion turned out to be the best one of the night.
~> The Lapdance with "Bunny" <~
So I followed "Bunny" into this small private room with drapes covering the entrance and couches on the on the walls. The lighting was a little brighter in the room, but not by much.
This was my favorite part: she took charge. Usually, in the past, it was me who made descisions for girls on what do in sexual situations, and they would do it. This was totally different. She had all the power, and she was making all the descisions, which was hot. I like when a girl is confident and clear on her intentions, who takes charge of her situation, all those qualities of her really turned me on.
She gave me orders: "Sit down on the middle of the couch". I did. This is awesome. Then she said "Its $20". As she said that, she was already on top of me leaning over my right shoulder, close to my neck, getting comfortable, I guess. I said, "OK, let me get my wallet." I was already nervous: a gorgous one-of-a-kind quad-racial mixed girl was on top of my lap with barely anything on. It was too good to be true. Another surreal moment, especially because it did feel private, like it was just me and her. My bulky ass wallet was in my pocket and I couldn't get it out with her on me. Finally, I got it out, and pulled out the 2 $10. I gave it to her, she put it in her purse, and then I heard a different club rap song go on and she said "Oh, this is my favorite song". Then it began....
The Real Story is Up Next....
~ TrueHerbCrystal ~
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TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#365063 - 02/16/10 01:35 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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And back to the real story....
>>> The Strip Club Experience <<<
So its about 1:00am, and I'm parked in front of "The Candy Shack", my first choice in my research. I made sure it wasn't already closed...turns out it closes at 2am. Just made it. So I'm still in my car and I start playing "Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland" in my deck and quickly took my half-hit of acid (which I could feel instantly, at least the subtle effect of the come-up experience) that I almost lost from opening up the Altoids container (it sprung open like it was spring-loaded). I noticed those 2 guys are still idling at the stop-sign.....what the hell is going with them...Anyway, I started the timer on my watch to monitor the trip progress and sat back and enjoy the first track. After drinking some water, I could already feel the acid come-up feeling....got my heart racing. The first track ended, and I was ready to inside the club....
First this I noticed was the entrance...very plain, with only a sign for the hours of operation and a very bright neon-green "ATM" sign. The sign was so bright, I couldn't see the door and had to block it with my hand....must have been the acid plus my unusually-high sensentivity to light (sober).
I walk inside the dark, plain building and the first thing I see is an older (30's?) pretty, black-haired girl sitting in a chair of a small very black-walled hallway. She looked like she was either really stoned or on heroin or something...she just looked out-of-it, like she was just about to black-out or fall asleep. Maybe it was because it was 1am in the morning, who knows. Needless to say, I found it oddly erotic, the long black hair and the drugged-out look.
Then, a guy walked in and said "Hi, can I see your ID?" Good thing I didn't forget that! I busted it out and handed it over to him..."Hawaii huh?" he said (I grew up on the Big Island). He started asking me the common "why did you move here?" questions, which I answered to the best of my ability, and he said. "Cool, you're good. Its $5 cover. Pay it to her (the black-hair women)." I said "OK" and handed it to her as I walked around the hallway. She gave me a big friendly smile, which felt great. I like nice, friendly people at sketchy joints. So, I walk thru the door.
First thing I notice is I'm the only one there! Sweet! That means that everything, including the poles, is like a private show (expect for the bouncers standing in the back). But, it also felt awkward too, for a couple of reasons. (A) I felt like I was one sad lonely man being the only one in the club at 1am in the morning and (B) I felt like now I'm the only the girls are coming to for their money because I'm the only paying customer! But I only have $26...sorry ladies, prevert on a budget.....
So, I see there is already a girl on the pole, dancing to some club rap music. Was she practicing? I guess they started since they knew I was coming in...ya know, to make it look like a "working" club or just a club that's very slow on business (for Valentines Day). I walk over to the front row bar, even thou I knew I had only one of those $1 left. I was the only one there...what would they do, kick me out for not tipping after I just walked in? I figured the cover charge was enough for one strip show.
So, the big white girl dancing on the pole, is pretty big, not obese, but she's a big girl (200lbs+? ) but she was pretty say 7/10. What was nice is that the "stage" was at floor level not a raised stage (:) . All she is in is a small thong and a loose top that just covers her boobies, the kind that look like its a loose sling for fruit or something.
Then, they start playing this one club rap song I've heard...and she was so good at it. She was shaking her booty in sync to the song, and slapping her ass every so often. I couldn't help but laugh because she had awesome timing and the acid was making it all look so surreal, like, is this really happening right now? At one point, the big girl with the big booty comes over to wear I was sitting and opens up her loose top for me, showing her juggies in full, up-close and personal. Also, my hands were over the railings, and I could feel her naked thigh on my finger tips...its was so tempting to just grab her, but I knew that would not end well. Anyhow, the slight touching the top of my fingers on her thigh plus the full-reveal of her quite nice C-cup jugs gave me a total instantabonner. I gave her a dollar for her prime work, but I felt bad and guilty because she deserved much more for her abilites (sorry, its the only $1 I had left!). She did this intimate stuff 1 more time a little later in the song, which never dissappointed.
Its just so weird that a girl, who I just met inside the club, would do all this just after I payed th $5 cover charge....wow. Talk about a weird, erotic experience. Little talking, and she's already in my face with her almost naked body. Pretty odd but pretty nice too.
So, she goes back to dancing, and the colored lights hitting her starts to trip me out a bit: they are flashing in different colors on her and it makes me feel like time is "going-then-stopping" Like, a gas-and-break feeling. The lighting was very minimum, some low-light bulbs and mostly blacklights (standard) so I could barely see the girls body, but I think the acid did help a little with my ability to see more.
What was also great about this big white girl was she had some cool tricks: one was that she would slap her clear acrylic high-heals together and make a "Crack!" sound. Pretty cool. As this was happening, I noticed a very pretty girl on the other side of the railing, with super high-heals, getting ready. I could barely see her face, but she was nice-looking. Back to the original dancer...And her finale was right as the song ended, she got on the ground, head on the floor, back lifted off the ground with her legs spread apart from eachother. Then she started to shake her ass like how they do in black rap videos, and she was doing it in perfect sync with the music too. Classic strip club talent!
The song ended and she kept going and I arrupted into a round of applause. I was amazed at her stipping ability...she was born for this.
After the music went silent, she went over to me and said "Did you like the show?" I said "yes, It was awesome!". Then she said, "Would you like a lapdance". Then I nervously said "I'm going to wait until closing time to do it, ya know, as the finale." (even thou the real reaason is that I didn't want her to break my already my dong with her weight...that might hurt.) She said "OK, I'll see you later." She walked off stage.
Then, the pretty girl I saw gettin' ready took the stage, and her body was nice...Her body was much more proportionally than the other girl, which I like, but she was still thick in the butt and waist, which I love. She walked over to me and sat up on the railing and asked "Hey, what's your name?" I said "My name's LogicaL" (I didn't say that, its my stage name for this story). She said "My name is Bunny". Very generic stage name which doesn't do her beauty any good, but oh well. Then I immediately asked, "I noticed you got an interesting look going...are you half-black?" To me, she looked like a Hapa girl, meaning half-white and half-native, in this case, half-black, turns out, it was better than that...."No, I'm not black! I'm 1/4 Filipino, 1/4 Hawaiian, 1/4 (I forgot), and a 1/4 white. I actually asked my Dad about this and he said, your a 'mixed plate', ya know, like Hawaii." First I thought, Oh My God, this is my favorite type of girl, a multi-racial mix. Has fate brought us together for this one amazing moment? And then I also thought, what a weird place to speak of your Dad, I wonder if he knows what she is doing.... Then I said, "Hey, I'm from Hawaii!". She said "Really? I'm actually just came over here from the Bay Area" I said "Oh, nice". After our short talk (some of it I likely don't remember accurately of the order) she went to dancing and came back, sat on the rail and pulled out her thong. She said "Wanna put a dollar?". I thought after I left that its funny that strippers assume that guys know what to do with that gesture. My first thought was she was playing with it to tease me, like she was going to take it off. But, it was about the money, and for a guy like me, who's only been to 1 strip club before, I didn't understand the gesture the same way. After she asked, I said "I don't have any. All I have left is $20, and I'm saving that for a lapdance." Then she said "Do you want one now?" I said "I was going to do it at the end of the show, at closing time." Then she said, "Oh, well I'm not just gunna waste my breath dancing up here for nothing. You wanna just have the lapdance?" I responed "Oh, yeah, I guess I'll just do it now...". And I thought, wow, that was kinda rude, but then I thought, yeah, $5 cover is not for the girls, the tipping is for the girls. They are not just going to dance because you're in there: you have to pay them directly to dance. Turns out, strippers only work if there's dollars being thrown around. I should of known that.
So I agreed and she walked off stage and I followed her. I felt guilty again because the big girl offered me a lapdance who was still right there in the same room, and I just chose the other smaller, multi-ethnic girl instead. I felt kinda bad taking the other girl's offer than the first one, but I was getting really excited about my first lapdance. And that desicion turned out to be the best one of the night.
~> The Lapdance with "Bunny" <~
So I followed "Bunny" into this small private room with drapes covering the entrance and couches on the on the walls. The lighting was a little brighter in the room, but not by much.
This was my favorite part: she took charge. Usually, in the past, it was me who made descisions for girls on what do in sexual situations, and they would do it. This was totally different. She had all the power, and she was making all the descisions, which was hot. I like when a girl is confident and clear on her intentions, who takes charge of her situation, all those qualities of her really turned me on.
She gave me orders: "Sit down on the middle of the couch". I did. This is awesome. Then she said "Its $20". As she said that, she was already on top of me leaning over my right shoulder, close to my neck, getting comfortable, I guess. I said, "OK, let me get my wallet." I was already nervous: a gorgous one-of-a-kind quad-racial mixed girl was on top of my lap with barely anything on. It was too good to be true. Another surreal moment, especially because it did feel private, like it was just me and her. A quick look at my stopwatch, about 20 minutes into the trip, I guess I won't be peaking for my dance. Oh well. Then I tried to get my bulky ass wallet was in my pocket and I couldn't get it out with her on me. Finally, I got it out, and opened it. "I got $20." Then she looked inside my wallet and said "What's that paper in there?" I said "Oh its just a recipt. No more money." Then she said "you don't have $25?" I said "Nope, just $20." She looked kinda unsure and a little dissapointed, but she went with it anyway (I guess the regular price is $25).
pulled out the 2 $10. I gave it to her, she put it in her purse. Then I ask, "So what's the rules? What can I touch and what can't I touch?" I asked this because I've seen a lot of movies with strip club scenes that go arwy when the guy grabs the girl, so I wanted to know the rules before it started. She said something I couldn't hear over the music, but by her facial expression, she didn't seem to worried about and then I heard a different club rap song go on and she said "Oh, this is my favorite song". Then it began....
There was a lot going on, but I try to rememeber what actually happened. First, she lifted herself straight up, erecting her back (and my penis) and then slowly started moving around on my lap, with just thong underwear on and a bra. Then she starts to reach behind her back, and take off her top. "Oh geez" I thought, 'This is hot'. She takes off her top, and shows me her breasts right in front of my face...I'm already amazed. They were small, like B or A cup, but they were still nice and light-brown (mmmm..). Who knew $20 could buy so much awesome?
Then, only moments later, she pushes them together with her arms and pulls my face in a gives me face full of little boobies! I couldn't believe, I was already blown away. This has to be some kind of deal, $20 for a motorboat (without me motoring)? Too good to be true. As she held me in her chest, I took a deep breath thru my nose and I swear I could some weed on her. That turned me on even more, the fact she smokes the budz. Then I smelt ciggerette smoke too, and that turn me off, but the weed smell offset that minor turn-off.
After she pulls away, The only expression on my face was this:  . I was just floored to think this was really happening. Where have you been all my life strip club and lapdances?
After that, I couldn't help but keep a smile on my face, for those moments, I was so happy. A beautiful multi-ethnic girl giving my a topless lapdance with nothing more on that a 2 layer thong, on Valentines Day (actually, it was Presidents Day, but its close enough).
She continued the dance....She would rub her thighs and move them around on my lap. Then, one of the best parts of the dance, she took control over me. She grabbed my hands with nice force and placed them onto her outer-waist and slowly moved my hands up the side of her very soft, light brown body. And she had some thick fat on the sides, which I liked. It wasn't folds, just some thickness, which felt better than the skinny, boney feeling I'm used to with other girls in the past. Basically, it had substance.
And her skin felt so good, like touching felt. Then, she left my hands there and continued for awhile, then grabbed my hands again with force, and pushed them onto the sides of me, holding it there. That's when I realized, I like when a women dominates me and takes control of me with force, as long as its not too much (like metal hand cuffs and whips, then again, I haven't tried that, maybe I'd like it ). That sense of her in control, doing what she wants, but still letting me touch her occasional felt great. It didn't even feel like she was teasing me, it felt like I was getting what I wanted and nothing less.
Then, in the middle of the dance, she starts talking to me about small-talk..."My name is Bunny, and I came over from the Bay Area". This tripped me out, because she said the EXACT same thing when she was sitting on the rail at the stripper pole. Weird. Maybe it was the acid that changed what she said. Or maybe she just wants me to remember her, for future business. Anyway, she asks "So LogicaL, how old are you?" I say "I'm 22. What about you?" She said "I'm 19.". I was stunned. I love that age, not too young, and not yet matured, just right. She looked a lot older and mature, just by her height, face, body-shape...she just seemed more mature than I thought. Then I said something that might not have been the best thing to say: "You look a lot older than 19...Like more mature". She wasn't offended thou, but I know some girls don't like to be called "older than you look".
Then, I tried to keep the small talk going because I remember a stand-up show with Pablo Fransico where he jokes about "You can say anything to a stripper, and they'll be interested, like in this example: Pablo: I like pigons, do you like pigions? Stripper: Oh F&%K yeah! I love pigons. I love how they go 'Coo! Coo!' ". So I remembered this, and descided i'll talk about her name: "So Bunny, do you like Bunnies? or Are you like a Bunny?". She said " I like Bunnies but I'm not really like a Bunny..." I interjected: "You seem like a bunny: your soft and fuzzy..." Then she said something then she laughed and leaned into me, next to my ear, like when you laugh and bend foward with your body. This was the best intelliectual/emotional part of the dance. I feel like I connected with her, like we had a moment, that was real and not staged or planned. It built my confidence that I could make her laugh at what I said. This made me feel really good, and makes me feel feelings toward her that I know I shouldn't: it will only lead to jealousy, shallowness toward naked women and becoming broke from all the money I spend on her. I think Akon said it best: "I feel in love with a stripper!".
After that comment, she says "I might be fuzzy down here" then she pulls open her thong and looks down inside of it. I wanted to lean over and take a look then say "Whatta got down there?", but I didn't want to overstep the boundaries. Plus, leaves some mystery for next time.
Then, for a second time, she gives me the forced motorboat....Just as good as the last. Her breasts were so soft and "new" on my rough face. Man! I love those 19 year old girls.
Anyway, the lapdance is still going, I'd say its about 3 minutes into it, she grabs my hands again (which were off to the sides) and places it on her hips near her buns and just left my hands there. Felt awesome just resting my hands on her soft body. I didn't do anything crazy, like squeezing or exploring, I just let it be on there, slowly brushing her skin with my thumbs. Then she starts giggling her ass like a rap music video, and I could feel the rippling from her buns onto my hands on her hips.
After that, she moved in closer on my left side and did this gesture like she was going to kiss my neck or something. As she did, I leaned in and sniffed her. Oh, she smelt so fine...
This is my favorite part: After she puts my hands on her side, she notices that I have a boner, and starts to do this incredible "butter churning" thing with her crotch, like this counter-clockwise movement of her crotch on my bonerfied pants as she holds herself up with her arms. Not only was the physical feeling great, but I watched her beautiful face, and she had a big smile on it, like she was enjoying it. She wasn't looking at me, she was just watching herself rub on my crotch with hers. But it also kinda hurt, because my boner was facing down, not toward my face, so it was kinda kinking my dick up a little. It was facing the wrong way, but oh well. It so erotic and so awesome that she was enjoying herself as well. I like when a girl enjoys her job even thou its socially taboo.
Then, the finale: The Warmdown. This was another one of my favorite parts, because it was so intimate. After all the rubbing and grinding, she stood up tall, her back erect and started running her fingers on my scalp thru my freshly-washed hair. Felt SOOOO GOOOD! I think next time, I'll just pay her to do that for 6-7 minutes while she sits on my lap. And the cool thing was she leaned back, so I could get a better look of her gorgeous mixed-race face. Kinda felt like another intimate, "real" moment, like she was giving me "thanks" for the dance because she enjoyed it too. But, its likely just part of her routine, but I like to think it was because she enjoyed my company, since I was the only guy there that night.
Right after she started the hair-rubbing, I said "Bunny, that feels REALLY Good...." and she said something that I didn't hear, since I was zoning out, entranced by her itimate scalp-rubbing. After about 1 minute more of this amazingly simple action, she slowly got up off my lap and started looking for her clothes. I said "Wow, thanks Bunny. That was amazing. Its been quite the Valentines Day for me..." She said "I'm glad you liked it.". As She put on her bra, grab her purse and everything, I wanted to be a gentleman, and show her I apperiate her service by holding the curtain open for her to walk thru. I think I held it too early because she took awhile to get all her stuff. But, she finally got her stuff and we walked out of the private room. And that was the end of the Lap Dance Experience....
Then, she went back to the stage, and went back to dancing. I sat at a table away from the railing near the stage, because I was broke.railing to the pole, and then she came by and put her butt on the rail and said "Do you got a dollar?" Which was weird, because she saw what was in my wallet: nothing. Was she dumb or was she like a robot that just asks the same questions, regarless of the conditions beforehand? I didn't know. So, I said "No...So does that mean I can't sit here?" She said "No, you have to tip if you sit here." Then I say "Can I just watch you dance?" She said "No, you have to tip, or I won't dance." Then I said, "Should I just leave then?". She said "Yeah, I think so." That really hurt when I heard that. It was like I was no longer welcomed there, because I didn't have anymore money. That I couldn't even stay and watch from a far. Then I realized that strip clubs are just a business like any other. They are shallow and they need money to work. I also learned that strippers are only your "real" friends when you have money to give them. If you don't have any, then you're nothing more than a freeloader. Pretty depressing really.
But, there was a sliver lining to this dark cloud....After she said "You have to go" (which was in a soft, nice, kind way and not a mean "Leave Now!"), she said "I'll be here every weekend. Come back when you have more money and we can do even more stuff..." I was like Whoa, 'more stuff' eh?, how far will she go?
Then, one of the best parts of the experience. She walked on the other side of the railing and gave me a hug! It wasn't a full-on "I really like you" hug, it was kinda half-assed (no pun intended), but the fact that she gave me one felt great! Felt like she cared for her customers, and could identify their needs, because after that lapdance, I needed a good hug from her. I'll have to put that on my list of things I want her to do for cash.....long hugs.
So, I walked toward the exit and said goodbye to the bouncer and the zoned-out black-haired girl sitting at the chair. I got lock up on the door, and looked back at the black-haired women, and said "Oh, that one must be locked" trying to look cool or something. I didn't even faze her, she was already fazed.... And then I walked outside where I met these 2 guys who worked at the club....
>>> In another post, I'll talk about the short story about these really cool, friendly 2 older guys who worked at the club. I would of wrote it here, but the this post is already WAY too long. Next time....
^Although I don't know anything about the Money-to-sexual-service relationship in strip clubs but I think that Bunny gave me more than what I payed for...which is . Must have been the really slow business, and she's giving it all she's got. Also, I thought about it later, and it could be for job security: that one night, I was the only one, which means demand for strip clubs is really low, but supply is sort high (too many strippers maybe). So, by giving me a "more than its worth" dance, it makes me wanna come back and get more. At least, thats my theory for what happened.
Well, all this describing of that lapdance with "Bunny", which I think should be "Leilani" or "Wahine" instead, (to reflect her multi-racial background, most notably her Hawaiian mix) makes me wanna beat my Bishop. I've already done it 3 times this morning think of that experience with her, and my dong has pretty much had enough, but I think I can squeeze one more in....
- And sorry about the MONSTER post: I like to put personal things into great detail (in case you haven't noticed). But after this post, I think I've done enough typing for a day. a week maybe.....And I'm done! Whew!
When you See the magical Brown "Bunny",
Don't Forget to bring that Mound of Money
~ LogicaL Chaos ~
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ttotheh
european son
Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 2,135
Loc: new york state
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: TrueHerbCrystal]
#365069 - 02/16/10 02:49 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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damn man you should submit that to erowid
--------------------
I live with thirteen dead cats ,
a purple dog that wears spats,
they all live out in the hall,
and i cant stand it anymore
anything i say on this website is 100 % false
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TrueHerbCrystal
Uncertified Oregrowian
Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 1,352
Loc: Emerald City
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: This Valentines Day, I'm Going to a Strip Club on Acid mixed with a little Bud...Any Tips? [Re: ttotheh]
#365070 - 02/16/10 02:58 AM (14 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ya think so?
It was a pretty low-dose trip, I mean half-a-hit of O.K. strenght Liquid, and I was only at the 30min mark when I got the lap dance from "Bunny". Wasn't really peaking....I was barely feeling anything *really* trippy, just some random occurances here and there.
But they take low-dose ones right? I'm sure they haven't seen too many strip club acid trip ones, maybe I will.
Thanks for reading my ridiculously long story ttotheh! If I do it again (I admit, its pretty addicting) I'm gunna take a larger dose, mix it with some bud (sadly, I didn't this time) and go into the club peaking (1.5 - 2 hours into the trip). That'll be a story!
Till then, this will do....
~ TrueHerbCystal ~
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