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 THEBats
The Bridge Master
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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 lolz 
#172852 - 12/30/08 02:03 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80, 000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
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kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day. 
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 TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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Re: lolz [Re: THEBats]
#172853 - 12/30/08 02:09 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sounds like Darwin Awards. I love that shit. 
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MedicineMan13
Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 47
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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LOL. Some of that shit sounds too retarded to be true. But when its that retarded it usually is true.
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TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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The saying fact is stranger than fiction is true. Fact is also funnier imo.
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LSDcoatedD0me
Registered: 12/08/08
Posts: 234
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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hahahaha those are hilariouis 
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Quote:
TripityDooDaDay said:
Sounds like Darwin Awards. I love that shit.
I has a darwin award book somewhere
I should find it ^^
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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I do too. It was in my bathroom the entire time I was reading it. Good shit. lol George Carlin is in my bathroom now.
There is a website for the Darwin Awards or at least I know there used to be.
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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I can't dedicate books to the washroom so I just don't bring them in.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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Man that sucks. I have bookshelves in my bathroom. lol I'm an avid reader and shitter.
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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I need to read more... build up those brain stems and that lacking volcabulary.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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mel_lonta_tauda
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
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well as your attorney i advise you to purchase a "word of the day" '09 calendar
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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I got some smart friends that use words I don't know. That should suffice if I pay attention and ask wha tthe words mean or look them up.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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mel_lonta_tauda
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
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dictionaries come in handy. usually every night a random word pops in my head that i'd like to use, so i just grab one and look it up 
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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maybe ill start doing that.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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Nothing substitutes a lot of reading when it comes to a witty vocabulary. Unfortunately I have a problem adjusting my brain cell burning rate to above the equivalency of my uploading of information one. Whenever I do succeed something shorts out and things get really fucked up.
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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I want a god like vocabulary... with less spelling errors and better punctuation!
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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THEBats
The Bridge Master
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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learn latin.
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kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: lolz [Re: THEBats]
#173206 - 12/30/08 10:59 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I actually plan to.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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