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I put the two tabs of white on white under my tongue twenty minutes before eleven and I began to feel stimulating, almost numbing, tensing tingles of the medicine come on. I was looking for signs of the magic when I had my hands on one of the rails in the shower when I began to feel it was my fists, which appeared to have no fingers, were attached to the railing. Time seemed to pass much slower, and the beautifully euphoric LSD body high slowly overtook me. When I got out of the shower I began to explore the house and my tripping toys as I dried off. I also stared at the wall for a while, watching different objects and part of the room move and morph as hallucinations came and went throughout the night. After about a half hour had passed and I was dressed and more dry I grabbed the Bhagadvad Gita and began to read the chapter I was on which was The Eternal Godhead. The reading itself was slow because of my psychedelic intoxication, I lost the page a few times when I would set the book down in wonder and contemplate the words I had just read. At this point in the epic poem Krishna had got Arjuna to finally have a mystical experience. This was perfect! Arjuna, the spiritual aspirant and everyman would experience Samadhi for the first time as I experienced it with him with a little help and through a slightly different method but with hopefully the same outcome. I remember beginning to read as Arjuna went into Samadhi, where knower and known are one and these previously puzzling words became clear, Samadhi, the deep state of enlightenment reached from meditation. My sister took over and read the rest of the chapter to me, Arjuna’s journey through two different types of Samadhi- one where he saw all God in all things and one in which everything dissolved into God seemed to make sense to me.
After that my sister wanted to go to sleep, and did began to panic a little bit. Throughout the next couple hour the saying To Fathom Hell or Soar Angelic, simply take a pinch of psychedelic came to mind. My mind went back and forth between a nervousness about falling asleep and wasting this wonderful drug, an anxiety about what to do to occupy my time with everyone asleep and waves of comfort, epiphanies, and psychedelic ecstasy. I was flooded with memories from when I was very young, only six or eight, and I had horrible anxiety waiting in the hallway outside my parents bedroom because I was nervous about sleeping alone but wasn’t allowed to come into their room until I tried to fall asleep on my own until a certain time. It reminded me of the theory of birth trauma and Freudian psychology that events from when we are very young that traumatize us cause us to have the hang-ups and mental issues we have later in life. That the hardest times of our lives our past us, times when we were young and didn’t have a psychological blanket that tells us who we are that we are safe and everything is going to be okay. We make our decisions and cope with them using the techniques we acquired at a young age during that event, and unless you are able to work through this psychological trauma using one method or another you won’t be able to change. It was a very therapeutic revelation.
My worries about falling asleep seem crazy since acid is supposed to keep you wide awake, and it was perplexing to me too. The LSD was definitely good, strong, and working. I realized that since I am used to take the 30mg Adderall XR daily that it’s slightly easier for me to fall asleep on stimulants. Since I had not taken my Adderall all that day, hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, was also extremely baked from taking lots of bong hits with kief during the trip (which by the way is the best combo ever with LSD), and was almost up for twenty four hours and was laying down in a dark room it would have been easy for me to fall asleep. So I had this psychedelic moment of anxiety and I feared that I would fall asleep and I was trying hard not to- I told myself to try and stay up at least until five and to fight through it, I knew I could do it, I had an inspiring moment where I realized what I needed to do and that I could do it. For a while I fought sleep while relaxing in my sister’s dark room, I had few sips of diet Pepsi, listened to Across the Universe which seemed to describe my condition in eerily accurate details, and made a few barely coherent posts on the Shroomery and Growery. Once I got up and moved in the other room where there was light and music and I started drawing any feeling of being tired disappeared. It was very easy for me to feel very awake as long as I kept doing stuff and didn’t lie down in a dark room. I drew for about an hour or two and started making an amazing picture, which I am still finishing up on now. At around five or six, Cat Steven’s Morning Has Broken came on, which was perfect and he is one of my most favorite artists and it was so beautiful. I had many more epiphanies, some of which had to do with tripping and me idealization or it and realizing it’s true purpose and how best to use it. A little bit after that I moved downstairs because I knew my Mom was going to be up in either an hour or half hour so I went to lay down on the couch and listen to music, which was an awesome time.
At around six thirty my mom woke up and went to go shower, I planned to stay awake and chill with her until she left, and was lying on the couch in the dark until she got out. I guess at this point I should have gotten up; it was about seven or seven and a half hours since I dosed. I was still tripping but had definitely plateaued and was reaching the end of my journey. While my Mom was in the shower I must have dozed off since I had let myself and I woke up about four hours later. When I woke up I had a strong feeling of regret and deep resentment for falling asleep during my comedown, but after much reflection and deep thought today I realize it would be against the true nature of this beautiful molecule for having any negative feelings about this gracious grace which is should grateful for. I stayed up past my goal, which like I previously stated is very easy as long as I was not in a sleeping position and experienced an amazing trip. A trip in which I’m sure I’ll have the chance to do over many times, and a trip that many people don’t have the blessing of experiencing any of. Today I feel great, renewed and still kind of after glowing but definitely feel like I zapped all the cobwebs out of my brain and learned a lot which I look forward to continue growing from.
Coolio. If only your setting would have been void of such debating aspects-- I bet this could have been much better, allowing yourself to concentrate on aspects of the trip more without the anxious parts dragging it down.
But still, sounds like quite an experience you had. I had a dream I took acid last night
That probably would be smarter and I will try and do that for my next trip, the reason I didn't was because I was busy and had certain things to drive to most days this week or was with family if I did not, but I was really excited to trip so I planned a night one.
here is the drawing I made during the trip expand it all the way
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