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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,781
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Lets face it ... English is a stupid language
#486555 - 10/09/10 09:16 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why hasn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down, And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers, And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all.)
That is why: When the stars are out they are visible, But when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts, But when I wind up this poem It ends.
-------------------- The Ego is a pathological conditionlike a calcareous tumor or cystthat begins growing in the personalityin the absence of hallucinogenic substances-Terence McKenna-
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T-Rex
Herbsman
Registered: 03/15/10
Posts: 4,920
Loc: Devils Marbles
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: niteowl]
#486557 - 10/09/10 09:28 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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I read this on the place mat of a bar a few years ago, made me think
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Dr. Siekadellyk
Question Everything!
Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 9,365
Loc: Ketamine
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: T-Rex]
#486569 - 10/09/10 09:51 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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-------------------- The Kratom Report...
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hippielauren
Quiet Mouse
Registered: 09/04/10
Posts: 274
Loc: down south
Last seen: 14 years, 12 days
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: Dr. Siekadellyk]
#486580 - 10/09/10 10:29 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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never thought of it like that. Gives me something to ponder about tonight
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CosmicFool
Psychoholic
Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 1,634
Loc: 203
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: hippielauren]
#486636 - 10/10/10 05:53 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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french fries are named after the style of cut they are prepared with
quick sand is far quicker than normal sand
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RasJeph
Psycho Pete
Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,657
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 year, 6 days
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: CosmicFool]
#486645 - 10/10/10 08:03 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Still superior to Spanish IMO.
Fucking verb conjugations. I hated having to apply gender/group size to every sentence I wanted to say. Especially because they aren't always the same ending, it depends on the verb.
-------------------- Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: niteowl]
#486654 - 10/10/10 08:23 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
niteowl said: There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why hasn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down, And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers, And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all.)
That is why: When the stars are out they are visible, But when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts, But when I wind up this poem It ends.
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drawde
Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: FRACTALife]
#486660 - 10/10/10 09:11 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ha, brilliant.
-------------------- King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends
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iStoner
Astral Beast
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: RasJeph]
#486720 - 10/10/10 04:42 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
RasJeph said: Still superior to Spanish IMO.
Fucking verb conjugations. I hated having to apply gender/group size to every sentence I wanted to say. Especially because they aren't always the same ending, it depends on the verb.
fucking latin dude, thats a fucked up language. i hated learning that in school.
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