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 iStoner
Astral Beast
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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 goodbye growery  1
#460573 - 08/15/10 10:33 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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if i dont post anymore in the next couple of days, i have probably killed myslef.
ive made major fuck ups in my life, and they ae coming back to me and now my life is fucked. and im as miserable as anyone could be. Its all my fault, and i dont think that i could do anything to make this better.
no matter how strong i make myself out to be, im the weakest person i know.
life 
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 Harlz
Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
Loc: cloudz
Last seen: 11 months, 3 days
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: iStoner]
#460583 - 08/15/10 10:42 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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if you waste this awesome experience here you are a fool
Chances of finding somewhere so beautiful again are very slim pal,
Find yourself a girl, I bet that changes your perspectives tenfold, smoke some weed and get over it,
don't think of the negative, only think of the beauty and love , if anything take a large dose of psychedelics ,
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Hendershot
Shapeshifter
Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 676
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Harlz]
#460608 - 08/15/10 11:17 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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chin up brother.. life will get better 
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"You're cool, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out.."
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa 
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: iStoner]
#460609 - 08/15/10 11:20 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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iStoner,
We are buds, right man? You are obviously such a great guy! You always bring so much joy to this forum and and a source of love and kindness!
This life is beautiful and we have this one chance to be here now with the universe and live life to the fullest. Don't kill yourself. Tell me what exactly you want to do with your one beautiful existence?
Harlz is right, maybe now is the time to ask for some wisdom from a plant teacher or two. Ayahuasca, DMT, mushrooms, maybe salvia?
" The world is like a ride at an amusement park. It goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride..." But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. Jesus - murdered; Martin Luther King - murdered; Malcolm X - murdered; Gandhi - murdered; John Lennon - murdered; Reagan... wounded. But it doesn't matter because: It's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. " - Bill Hicks
Love and Peace,
Please stay on the good ride a little bit longer
FRACTALife
Listen to these
Edited by FRACTALife (08/15/10 11:23 AM)
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Hendershot
Shapeshifter
Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 676
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Harlz] 2
#460611 - 08/15/10 11:23 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Harlz said:
if anything take a large dose of psychedelics ,
You sir, are a fucking idiot!! Advising a someone in a suicidal state to take a large dose of psychedelics is asking for trouble..   
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"You're cool, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out.."
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Hendershot]
#460612 - 08/15/10 11:29 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hendershot said:
Quote:
Harlz said:
if anything take a large dose of psychedelics ,
You sir, are a fucking idiot!! Advising a someone in a suicidal state to take a large dose of psychedelics is asking for trouble..
Ayahuasca 
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MR.HEADY
PorchMonkey
Registered: 07/21/10
Posts: 1,162
Loc: Toothless acres . West Vi...
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: FRACTALife]
#460616 - 08/15/10 11:39 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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you need to call and get some help bro suicide is def the wrong solution and chances are your not going to do it anyway everyone ive known that killed theirselves didnt tell anyone before hand.But if your having these thoughts bro please seek some help in the real world not a online forum .Call the suicide prevention line National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): ...Dont be a statistic..And drugs as mentioned will not in any way help you overcome your feelings No matter how bad or low life feels remember its all a rollercoaster it has its downs but always comes back up ......Hopefully youll listen and get some counseling dont kill yourself
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[quote]FarBeyondDriven said:
Anybody ever tell you you're the result of a broken prophylactic in the back seat of a 74 Mercury?[/quote]
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kyuzo
Stranger Than Fiction
Registered: 07/05/10
Posts: 981
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: MR.HEADY]
#460621 - 08/15/10 11:51 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Mr. heady is right. This is probably the worst way to deal with your problems. And if you don't feel comfortable calling the help line, please at least talk to someone you know you can trust.
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I_AM_SWIM
Someone Who Isn't McKenna
Registered: 06/08/09
Posts: 1,337
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Hendershot]
#460629 - 08/15/10 12:09 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hendershot said:
Quote:
Harlz said:
if anything take a large dose of psychedelics ,
You sir, are a fucking idiot!! Advising a someone in a suicidal state to take a large dose of psychedelics is asking for trouble..
i agree, but i don't think it's completely idiotic, it's just one out of the many alternatives in the spectrum of advice.
Psychedelics have healed a lot of the negative aspects associated with my life, and have with many others, and so it's not a bad idea. I would recommend it too, but only after the suicidal thoughts are over.
Going over the edge can drive people to committing suicide anyway regardless if they are depressed or not, shit can get insane.
iStoner, IDK what to say, except if you really want to get better, you will find ways to get better. Frodo was the weakest of the bunch in lord of the rings, but within his weakness was a strength, small in size, but potent as the strongest thang ever. Like LSD has a small dose, but has a super potent punch.
ANYWAY
just do thangs mang, no thang is as bad as it's made out to be.
there usually is a  for every
look into counselling (but don't instantly buy into pharmaceutical prescription nonsense)
the benefits are far greater when u can pass this rut, without the aid of a crutch.
if u ever wanna talk about feeling or or both or all and  and doin' thangs., im just a PM away.
anyway i hope u have a day.
there is more awesome in u than u realize
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kickin-two-hundo
|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| ♪♫♪♫♪♫
Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 882
Loc: afghanistan
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: kyuzo]
#460630 - 08/15/10 12:12 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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bro what are u goin through? not saying that i have any idea but if its legal issues i know how you feel, I've done 3 years of probation, 2 on drug court, and 1 in the hole. that's 1/3 of my entire life so far. Trust me man, I've been so close to suicide before, I've attempted non painful ways before (taken extremely lethal doses of painkillers, pesticides, lethal chemicals and a full handle of alcohol all at once). Somehow i lived through it, guess it just wasn't my time yet. I know things feel like they could never get any worse, but trust me dude they always can, you are so much better off right now than millions of people in this world. Things could always be worse, just look for the good things in your life, how about your family? I bet they love you more than you could ever know, and would do anything for you. Think about how much more it will hurt anyone you have ever known, anyone you have ever loved, and everyone that you have ever made a connection with. These people will suffer for years and years, some may end up killing themselves as a result, which just keeps going on and on like a chain reaction. Think about what you're saying and what you're thinking about doing, this is just a tiny part of your life, thats what i always tell myself when things get hard.
We have nothing but time in this world, think deeply, you have years and years and years ahead of you, you have barely even lived 1/4 of your life man! This one little time of pain and troubles will be gone in what seems like a while, but really it is just a very small part of your life. Find someone who you trust more than anybody in the world, a girl would be best and spill your heart out. Tell them everything that is going on and talk to them for hours about it. I have had my dearest friend and she always will be save my life before. I had the gun loaded and ready to shoot. Just give it time and thought before you do something really stupid, that would cause so much more suffering and pain for sooo many people than what you are feeling right now.. Pm me if you need to talk man, I've been through alot of really, really, really low and depressing times, and i have managed to pull myself through them time and time again. Hell I've got a pending 200,000 dollar lawsuit against me for some lady that i KILLED on accident, my car just blew up two days ago, my street bike was stolen, my license is suspended, and i still wake up every morning with a smile and live my day to the fullest. Its not worth it bro, it just isn't.
peace love and entity brother. dont do it.
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The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
anything and everything i post on here is completely fictional and come straight from the deepest depths of the black hole which is my mind.
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CosmicFool
Psychoholic
Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 1,634
Loc: 203
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Quote:
kickin-two-hundo said:
bro what are u goin through?
seriously you were kinda vague in your post.
NOBODY wants to see you take that route
talk to us... talk to someone...
when you're going through hell, keep going you'll make it out eventually
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iStoner
Astral Beast
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: CosmicFool]
#460650 - 08/15/10 12:35 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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thankyou guys, your all are reallly a big help. i came hear saying this so maybe some of you would have advice to make it through and ou did.
im not sure if it will be the route im going to take just yet.
ijust have so much shit going on with me, and life and everything. and after all this and thinking of suicide. i found out myy dad is in the emergency room. which isnt good at all, but i think knowing he needs me right now will keep me from doing anything harmful to myself.
im sorry my post is so vauge, its all my fault the things that have been happening. Karma has set its eyes on me now, and i think i must just wait it out.
i am on thtat finds life beautiful, but everyone has to see alittle bit of hell sometimes i guess.
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Harry_Ba11sach
cannoisseur
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 11,753
Loc: Nepal
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: iStoner]
#460659 - 08/15/10 12:40 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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I mean, seriously? can shit seriously be so bad that you honestly think offing yourself is the best option? No offense, but are you seriously such a pussy that you can't handle just a tiny bit of strife?
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kickin-two-hundo
|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| ♪♫♪♫♪♫
Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 882
Loc: afghanistan
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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dam harry u don't know whats going on in his life, how u gonna go and try to judge someone u don't know shit about like that? what a horrible quality in a person.
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The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
anything and everything i post on here is completely fictional and come straight from the deepest depths of the black hole which is my mind.
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Harry_Ba11sach
cannoisseur
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 11,753
Loc: Nepal
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It's called tough love. And yes, he is being a coward. I would bet $1000 that nothing in his life is bad enough to justify him putting the rest of his family through all the grief of losing him. His mom and dad will cry for YEARS if he does this, and worse than that, they'll think it's their fault and wonder where they went wrong as parents. Suicide is selfish, cowardly, and weak. If he can't handle the truth of the situation, then it's not something he should be considering anyways
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kickin-two-hundo
|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| ♪♫♪♫♪♫
Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 882
Loc: afghanistan
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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thats a little better, not quite as judgmental. very tru tho very tru. Sometimes things ARE that bad in peoples lives though, where suicide actually would be the best option.
For example, if i were ever givin a sentence of 5 or more years in prison, i would be dead by the morning, no doubt, no questions.
My bad though, way, WAAAAAAYYYYY  , and i know that..
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FarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
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Quote:
kickin-two-hundo said:
thats a little better, not quite as judgmental. very tru tho very tru. Sometimes things ARE that bad in peoples lives though, where suicide actually would be the best option.
For example, if i were ever givin a sentence of 5 or more years in prison, i would be dead by the morning, no doubt, no questions.
My bad though, way, WAAAAAAYYYYY , and i know that..
Anybody know a judge?
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Kilroy
old stoner
Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Cold as Hell
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Hey bud. We have posted off of each other countless of times, your pm chats are what fills my message box. I know shit can get bad, but it can never get that bad it might just seem like it, but it really never is. Your friends and family are the ones who suffer when some one chooses this way out. I promise it will get better it always does. We all have our down moments where it might seem endless but nothing is truly endless, it will end and some happiness will shine through and then you can look back and go damn that was just a bad time and glad you did not do it. I know being alone sucks major shit and loosing someone can hurt like a bitch, but it will get better it will get better. We all have known heart ache and yes it totally sucks shit but it is not worth dieing over. New people come into our life all the time, some stay and some leave and all we can do is enjoy and remember the good times we had together. This too my friend shall pass and new things will happen that are just as good or even better. Good luck my friend and brave it out, it will get better.
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Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional
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iStoner
Astral Beast
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Kilroy]
#460696 - 08/15/10 01:18 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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harry, you are harsh with your words. but i understand what your getting at.
my life really isnt that bad to where suicide is the option. im sure i can get through all of this.
everyone here really is a big help.
i know my family would take this very hard, specificly my brother and parents.
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FarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
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Re: goodbye growery [Re: Kilroy]
#460700 - 08/15/10 01:21 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Don't kill yourself Istoner. 
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