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 81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,182
Loc: State of Mind 
Last seen: 9 months, 9 days
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 Border Patrol   1
#451018 - 07/24/10 08:48 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yesterday I was making a 16 hour drive from my house to Dallas for a business meeting (some new software rollout).
Cruisin' along half baked, I drive right up to the fucking INS/Border Patrol Station in TEXAS!
I come to a stop and the fuckin' german shepherd immediately alerts the agents to my vehicle.
Now since the dog had alerted, they had probable cause, so I copped to the two joints and the dugout.
They take me inside and sit me down while they search my entire vehicle, they call me out once to ask where the rest of my stash is: I tell 'em that's it, and the agent with the dog straight up calls me a liar.
I tell them again that that's all I have, and they send me back inside the station.
Skip to ten minutes later, I get called to my car, one agent is holding my dugout and another says: "You've got 30 seconds to get in your car and disappear! Its your lucky day, cuz this shit isn't worth my time!"
Needless to say, I book outta there only to discover 3 miles down the road that the fuckin border patrol JACKED MY IPOD! Fuckin' crooked cops.
At least I wasn't arrested.
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"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut
BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.
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m3kgt
User
Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 1,011
Loc: G-Spot TX
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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welcome to Texas! Your lucky they didnt straight up tear into your car and then say, "well sorry the dog alerted us to this part of the vehicle", after the seats are all torn up and shit.
Also they like to take any cash found during a search. No way to prove it was there. 
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81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,182
Loc: State of Mind
Last seen: 9 months, 9 days
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 Re: Border Patrol [Re: m3kgt]
#451021 - 07/24/10 08:57 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Luckily my cash was in my pockets.
They were dicks too, and seriously there were EIGHT of them out there searching my car and then they would form a semi-circle around me whenever I came out to talk to them.
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"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut
BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.
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 FarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
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Damn, that's fucked up dude. Cops are criminals, fuck em all..
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redrum187
Stranger
Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 8
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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This reminds me of an experience i had crossing the us/canada border. We accidentally turned right instead of left leaving the duty free shop which sent us towards the canadian border, where they ask if we had anything to declare and the driver said no, all while we had the 3 cartons of cigs and like 8 bottles of liquor sitting in plain sight in the back seat *facepalm* anyways they searched our car, took our liquor and cigs and denied us entry and made us turn around. When we reach the US customs office heading back in, we were stopped and searched AGAIN... not 3 minutes after being searched by the canadians.
All this time i had a small metal bowl in my pocket but they didn't find it at the canadian border. In retrospect i probably should have tossed it as we were headed back to the US side, but i didn't. Anyways, the US customs officer said i was acting nervous (i wonder why?) and threatened me with a cavity search so i gave up the bowl with the quickness. They grilled me for a good 20 minutes about what else was in the car (nothing) and where my friends had their drugs hidden (they didnt have any.)
So he leaves me sitting in there alone for another good 10 minutes and stands in front of me and dismantles the pipe piece by piece in front of me and puts all the pieces in my hand and asks me how bad i want to keep it. Of course i told him i could give a fuck less about the pipe at this point, and he points to the trash can and tells me throw it away and get the fuck out of here.
Obviously i did what he asked lol
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KaptKid
Spaced Pirate
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 5,615
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 1 year, 4 days
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Man , your free
Fuck , you got lucky your not in jail.
You were in S Texas. Meeting me would of been more fun than the border patrol.
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Child of the 60's, Tripping ever sence.
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81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,182
Loc: State of Mind
Last seen: 9 months, 9 days
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Re: Border Patrol [Re: KaptKid]
#451092 - 07/25/10 07:51 AM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
KaptKid said:
Man , your free
Fuck , you got lucky your not in jail.
You were in S Texas. Meeting me would of been more fun than the border patrol.
Truth. The running joke with the people I've talked to about this is that I unintentionally bribed the agents with an ipod. 
I can't wait until they see the first playlist: its the I-dosers and the titles are I-Heroin, I-Ecstasy, I-White Crosses, etc. 
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"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut
BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.
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SmOakland
Now with Grow!
Registered: 05/31/09
Posts: 2,662
Loc: Oaktown to NOLA
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Do you have a mac or a pc?
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Thebooedocksaint
Dead Dictator
Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 5,729
Loc: Wild & Free
Last seen: 27 days, 19 hours
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Quote:
81renaissance said:
Yesterday I was making a 16 hour drive from my house to Dallas for a business meeting (some new software rollout).
Cruisin' along half baked, I drive right up to the fucking INS/Border Patrol Station in TEXAS!
I come to a stop and the fuckin' german shepherd immediately alerts the agents to my vehicle.
Now since the dog had alerted, they had probable cause, so I copped to the two joints and the dugout.
They take me inside and sit me down while they search my entire vehicle, they call me out once to ask where the rest of my stash is: I tell 'em that's it, and the agent with the dog straight up calls me a liar.
I tell them again that that's all I have, and they send me back inside the station.
Skip to ten minutes later, I get called to my car, one agent is holding my dugout and another says: "You've got 30 seconds to get in your car and disappear! Its your lucky day, cuz this shit isn't worth my time!"
Needless to say, I book outta there only to discover 3 miles down the road that the fuckin border patrol JACKED MY IPOD! Fuckin' crooked cops.
At least I wasn't arrested.
Man, if that happened to me. I'd be down for killing some cops.
But I suppose an ipod isn't work life in jail/dieing.
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"Je pense, donc je suis (I am thinking, therefore I am)." -Rene Descartes
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FRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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muther fuckers
so sorry man 
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Shaggy420
Registered: 07/06/10
Posts: 3,372
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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 thats shocking. and prison for 2 joints and a pipe?
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DungenessDank
Lord of the Flies
Registered: 05/05/08
Posts: 9,372
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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I'm just glad you got off man. What level of government do these guys work for? Are they state or federal employees?
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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If it was border patrol, then I believe that is a federal officer.
Just be lucky you arent sitting behind bars or having to go through legal bullshit. That would have sucked and costs you a lot more than an ipod
I wish they just stole my ipod when I got stopped for my DUI. I would have been dancing in the streets
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Kilroy
old stoner
Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Cold as Hell
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Border Patrol [Re: Picklez]
#451301 - 07/25/10 07:08 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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I agree it would have cost a lot more if they busted you. In MN it is 1000 dollars and if you have to take any of there B.S. classes you have to pay for that too, not to mention any court cost. Glad you made out as well as you did friend
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Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional
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totalcrash5
Stranger
Registered: 07/08/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Southern Nevada
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: Border Patrol [Re: Kilroy]
#451387 - 07/25/10 11:11 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's obvious they weren't looking for some everyday pot head! It's good they just let you go. Anything more and it would be on your record or something and cost you some money and a lawyer. You got a good story to tell to all your online buddies now, eh? 
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“Look at your comment, now back to mine. Now back at your comment now back to mine. Sadly it isn't mine, but if you stopped trolling and started posting legitimate comments it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You're scrolling through comments, writing the comment your comment could look like. What did you post? Back at mine, it's a reply saying something you want to hear. Look again the reply is now diamonds. Anything is possible when you think before you post.” –Tim, blood diamond commentator, parody of old spice commercial.
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81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,182
Loc: State of Mind
Last seen: 9 months, 9 days
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Quote:
totalcrash5 said:
You got a good story to tell to all your online buddies now, eh?
And my IRL buddies!
Seriously though, The Growery was the first thing I thought about as I drove away. I was like: "Wait until I tell them about this!"
--------------------
"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut
BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.
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Kilroy
old stoner
Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Cold as Hell
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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TY for sharing it with us
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Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional
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fungi
.
Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 168
Loc: Silicon Sizzle, CA USA
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: Border Patrol [Re: Kilroy]
#452094 - 07/27/10 09:03 PM (14 years, 4 months ago) |
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Cops stole my graduation watch and cell phone when I went to jail. My recommendation, never want to go to jail. But I wanted to know how it was inside; social psychology experiment I guess you could call it.
If you are stupid and want to go to jail, well say you have ADD. Speed is a nice source of income in jail or prison. Free food and drugs! It's funny, when I was in jail I organized the largest pruno creation ever. Got to smoke cigs because I made friends without even trying / selling drugs.
I can see why some people love jail and prison; if you don't have taste buds and don't mind the occasional fight; it's paradise.
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alienscience
Farve in training
Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 478
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Your lucky they didn't arrest you. You'd probably have lost your job. I'd be more careful smoking from now on. Maybe only smoke joints, and get a smelly proof bag or something.
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