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Yrat
Happy Planting
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 886
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Petition to Boycott Kellog's for Treatment of Michael Phelps
#194146 - 02/10/09 12:28 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
To: Kellogg's Corporation
Whereas...
1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans
2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.
3)That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.
4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.
5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and took it and then later they sat in the living room and listened the Dark Side Of The Moon over and over and danced and laughed and I swear we smelled something. John Harvey.
6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - john Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believe in putting children's genitals in a cage to keep them from playing with themselves and also believed in yogurt enemas.
7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.
8) That the thing about yogurt enemas makes us want to hurl when we look at that box of Kellogg's Yogos we have in the pantry.
9) That Michael Phelps should totally drop YOU dudes for your obsession with bran and fiber and masturbation and butts and stuff. You drop HIM? Dude won eight gold medals and probably didn't stick a single one in his butt or tie it in tourniquet around his naughty bits. Dude was just trying to relax. Seriously Kellogg's, WTF?
Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products.
And we're serious.
Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD.
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
Click HERE to sign petition
http://www.petitiononline.com/Kellogg/petition.html
-------------------- "Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." - Abraham Lincoln
"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root"
~ Henry D. Thoreau
Strike The Root
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Tangerines
Grease Wizard
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,497
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Petition to Boycott Kellog's for Treatment of Michael Phelps [Re: Yrat]
#194212 - 02/10/09 05:07 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you think I will give up my Frosted Flakes then you are sadly mistaken.
Frosted Flakes > Michael Phelps because Frosted Flakes won my heart which is greater than any gold medal.
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Harlz
Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
Loc: cloudz
Last seen: 10 months, 6 days
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Re: Petition to Boycott Kellog's for Treatment of Michael Phelps [Re: Tangerines]
#194657 - 02/11/09 06:49 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said: If you think I will give up my Frosted Flakes then you are sadly mistaken.
Frosted Flakes > Michael Phelps because Frosted Flakes won my heart which is greater than any gold medal.
hahaha!
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MFDoom666
trash hoarder
Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 8,842
Loc: emerica
Last seen: 7 years, 10 days
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Re: Petition to Boycott Kellog's for Treatment of Michael Phelps [Re: Harlz]
#194776 - 02/11/09 03:17 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Harlz said:
Quote:
Tangerines said: If you think I will give up my Frosted Flakes then you are sadly mistaken.
Frosted Flakes > Michael Phelps because Frosted Flakes won my heart which is greater than any gold medal.
hahaha!
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FurrowedBrow said:
They should teach african engineering at the college level. mcgyver 101
Harry_Ba11sach said:
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
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