Home | Community | Message Board


World Seed Supply
Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Growery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

PhytoExtractum Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
top 10 ways to screw up your kids
    #169079 - 12/24/08 11:17 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

10. Pretend to die, see what they do.
9.  Make them watch pornos all day.
8.  Kill all the family pets and say that God did it because they wouldn't do the dishes. This should foster a nice atheistic household.
7.  When you bathe them, point and laugh at their genitalia.
6.  Tell them you love them every day. When they say, "I love you too," laugh and say, "I was just kidding!"
5.  Tape them to the ceiling.
4.  For the first five years of their life (until they start Kindergarten) replace all the lights in the house with strobe lights. See what happens. (My guess: They'll learn to blink in synch with the strobe. That's what happened when I tried this experiment with kittens.)
3.  Whenever they say a certain word, (let's pick "hungry") do a little dance, jump up and down three times, clap, touch your toes, then lay down and pretend to go to sleep.
2.  Teach them right and left backwards. This will be sure to fuck them up for years to come.
1.  Do whatever your parents did to you. You're pretty fucked up.


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecaptain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: THEBats]
    #169081 - 12/24/08 11:21 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

wasted 1minute of my life reading!


--------------------


TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: captain.koons]
    #169082 - 12/24/08 11:21 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

then I accomplished my goal.


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecaptain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: THEBats]
    #169084 - 12/24/08 11:25 AM (16 years, 2 days ago)

bastage!


--------------------


TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemel_lonta_tauda
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: THEBats]
    #169300 - 12/24/08 08:19 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

THEBats said:
10. Pretend to die, see what they do.
9.  Make them watch pornos all day.
8.  Kill all the family pets and say that God did it because they wouldn't do the dishes. This should foster a nice atheistic household.
7.  When you bathe them, point and laugh at their genitalia.
6.  Tell them you love them every day. When they say, "I love you too," laugh and say, "I was just kidding!"
5.  Tape them to the ceiling.
4.  For the first five years of their life (until they start Kindergarten) replace all the lights in the house with strobe lights. See what happens. (My guess: They'll learn to blink in synch with the strobe. That's what happened when I tried this experiment with kittens.)
3.  Whenever they say a certain word, (let's pick "hungry") do a little dance, jump up and down three times, clap, touch your toes, then lay down and pretend to go to sleep.
2.  Teach them right and left backwards. This will be sure to fuck them up for years to come.
1.  Do whatever your parents did to you. You're pretty fucked up.



i can't believe i missed this thread :congrats:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePhriend
/\/\♠♠♠/\/\
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 2,416
Loc: in the walls
Last seen: 16 years, 5 hours
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: mel_lonta_tauda]
    #169301 - 12/24/08 08:23 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

mel_lonta_tauda said:
Quote:

THEBats said:
10. Pretend to die, see what they do.
9.  Make them watch pornos all day.
8.  Kill all the family pets and say that God did it because they wouldn't do the dishes. This should foster a nice atheistic household.
7.  When you bathe them, point and laugh at their genitalia.
6.  Tell them you love them every day. When they say, "I love you too," laugh and say, "I was just kidding!"
5.  Tape them to the ceiling.
4.  For the first five years of their life (until they start Kindergarten) replace all the lights in the house with strobe lights. See what happens. (My guess: They'll learn to blink in synch with the strobe. That's what happened when I tried this experiment with kittens.)
3.  Whenever they say a certain word, (let's pick "hungry") do a little dance, jump up and down three times, clap, touch your toes, then lay down and pretend to go to sleep.
2.  Teach them right and left backwards. This will be sure to fuck them up for years to come.
1.  Do whatever your parents did to you. You're pretty fucked up.



i can't believe i missed this thread :congrats:





dido :lol::thumbup:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleThreeLittleBirds
A Guy
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 752
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: THEBats]
    #169310 - 12/24/08 08:37 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)







--------------------




"Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true........"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLSDcoatedD0me


Registered: 12/08/08
Posts: 234
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: ThreeLittleBirds]
    #169312 - 12/24/08 08:39 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

hahaha what a fuckked up thread

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleTripityDooDaDay
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
Re: top 10 ways to screw up your kids [Re: THEBats]
    #169329 - 12/24/08 09:11 PM (16 years, 2 days ago)

That's funny as hell. :rofl2:

Tell them that you are going to teach them to swim then take them to the pool and just throw them in. When you leave there tell them you are going to teach them to fly and drive to the airport.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

PhytoExtractum Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* This kid is going to go far.
( 1 2 all )
TripityDooDaDay 7,584 31 12/17/08 01:25 PM
by blueberry D
* What would screw you more? LordOfChaos 5,339 19 08/14/08 11:37 PM
by LordOfChaos
* 10 Most Raciest Toys
( 1 2 all )
THEBats 5,775 21 07/20/08 09:59 AM
by andyistic
* Smart Kids Are More Likely to Become Drunks
( 1 2 all )
freepain 10,017 28 10/28/08 10:57 AM
by still beLIEve
* 10:00am, earliest TIC ever!
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Harry_Ba11sachM 18,305 95 01/19/09 12:18 PM
by Harry_Ba11sach
* kids drinking a capful of bleach to pass drug tests
( 1 2 all )
Nothing Is 10,796 23 12/30/08 07:44 PM
by Dr_T
* 10 More days until the MARKETPLACE opens
( 1 2 all )
kidaihuan 5,675 21 07/17/08 01:04 AM
by Roxum
* WTF master_shake? Your stupid $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ screws up the forum
( 1 2 all )
kidaihuan 6,566 22 06/04/08 01:08 AM
by neepling

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: FurrowedBrow, Harry_Ba11sach, Magash, Data, Stoneth, Dr. Siekadellyk
1,724 topic views. 7 members, 9,253 guests and 2,441 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.036 seconds spending 0.02 seconds on 14 queries.