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 FurrowedBrow
Free yourself from yourself
 
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 12,045
Loc: Carpal Tunnel
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 Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You 
#161751 - 12/13/08 10:19 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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There are some people in life, that no matter how hard you try to be open to and think good of, bug you for one reason or other. Finding a gift for these people can be really, really hard because your head is saying, "find the cheapest, nastiest thing out there!" while your heart wants to do the right thing. Provided you apply a sense of humour and an understanding of the consequences of playing around a bit in the gift-giving department, this might be just the occasion for sending a meaningful message by way of gift. May karma be with you...
1. Purchase a large wooden spoon for the trouble-maker in your family or workplace. (That person who is always causing trouble, stirring up a mess and sticking their nose where it isn't wanted.) This gift says, "watch it, we think you're a pot-stirrer". For the less obtuse, this present is nicely pointed.
2. Wrap up some personal hygiene products for the person who never bathes or who breathes down your neck lasciviously even though this person knows you're taken. A bottle of deodorant and some shampoo speaks volumes for this person. Make sure to wrap it in clear cellophane.
3. Give that lazy son-in-law a cooking set and a food processor. It's time he understood that cooking is for anyone in the household, not just your daughter.
4. Give a sexy lingerie set to the prim and proper daughter-in-law who is driving you crazy with her perfectness. She'll be embarrassed at what possible thoughts are going through your head about her relations with your son! (But be forewarned that given even as a joke, you may forever be labeled as a Dirty Old Man or Woman by everyone present!)
5. Give uncaring parents-in-law a large photo of you in a beautiful frame. So they didn't put your picture out with the rest of the family, or at least not one large enough to match the others? Make up for it with this wonderful "in-your-face" addition to the family photo collection. It's a difficult gift to wriggle out of displaying. Make sure your smile is large.
6. Make a whistle and stopwatch kit. Give this to the bossy person in your life. It sends a message to them that you haven't exactly enjoyed their need to tell you what to do and when.
7. Consider music. A song you know they don't much like can turn into an entire CD by the artist in question. After they open it, insist they play it for everyone to hear. This is a great Christmas show-stopper. An album or mix CD with lyrics that touch on your frustration with this person can also have an interesting effect.
8. Provide a set of knives to someone who backstabbed you. It doesn't have to be real knives; plastic toy ones from the dollar store still carry the message perfectly well.
9. Remember to keep your sense of humour throughout this exercise. It is meant to be a light-hearted response to real challenges that you are facing in your relations with certain people in your life and you must accept that it can and will backfire with some recipients. If that is an outcome you are prepared to face, these gift ideas might be for you. If not, try more constructive means for approaching the nagging mother-in-law, the overbearing boss, the faithless lover, or the whining friend.
10. For those folks bad mouthing you while their glass house reveals that one or both of them are married--to someone else, papier maché initials painted red either with a craft brooch pin on the back, or a hanger for a tree. Most won't get the "Scarlet Letter" reference, but you will!
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TripityDooDaDay
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 7,600
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: FurrowedBrow]
#161757 - 12/13/08 10:46 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm giving out voodoo dolls this year.
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Stoneth
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 25,048
Loc: No where ville, USA 
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: TripityDooDaDay]
#162016 - 12/13/08 05:17 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I only need three just three.
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ThreeLittleBirds
A Guy
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 752
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: FurrowedBrow]
#162033 - 12/13/08 05:32 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I could give my dad a slayer CD
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"Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true........"
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 blueberry D
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 730
Loc: michigan
Last seen: 9 months, 3 days
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: FurrowedBrow]
#162143 - 12/13/08 08:24 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Those are some good ideas.
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IdeLOLogies
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 97
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: blueberry D]
#162439 - 12/14/08 06:28 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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"5. Give uncaring parents-in-law a large photo of you in a beautiful frame. So they didn't put your picture out with the rest of the family, or at least not one large enough to match the others? Make up for it with this wonderful "in-your-face" addition to the family photo collection. It's a difficult gift to wriggle out of displaying. Make sure your smile is large."
 :)
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JonnyBegood
Sex, Nugs, Rock & Roll
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 258
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: IdeLOLogies]
#162445 - 12/14/08 08:52 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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i got a pipe in my stocking last year from my sissy 
i wonder what its going to be this year
as for passive agressive ideas, Im going to give my roomate a 7up because he always tries to one up everyone, so im going to 7 up him.
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"One Day, One World, One Love" 4/20
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: JonnyBegood]
#162446 - 12/14/08 09:07 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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im giving out fentanyl and crack rocks
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heady nugz
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Tangerines
Grease Wizard
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,497
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: wowitch420]
#162447 - 12/14/08 09:08 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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mmm fentanyl
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FrozenReality
Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 499
Last seen: 10 years, 21 days
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: JonnyBegood]
#162448 - 12/14/08 09:12 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
JonnyBegood said:
i got a pipe in my stocking last year from my sissy
i wonder what its going to be this year
as for passive agressive ideas, Im going to give my roomate a 7up because he always tries to one up everyone, so im going to 7 up him.
Sounds like you should get him a wood bat engraved with 1 up and give it to him in the head a few times. No need to give someone like that a PASSIVE aggressive gift.
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Ben18
Drunk Derelict
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 3,189
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Re: Passive Aggressive Gift Ideas for People Who Annoy You [Re: IdeLOLogies]
#162452 - 12/14/08 09:26 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
IdeLOLogies said:
"5. Give uncaring parents-in-law a large photo of you in a beautiful frame. So they didn't put your picture out with the rest of the family, or at least not one large enough to match the others? Make up for it with this wonderful "in-your-face" addition to the family photo collection. It's a difficult gift to wriggle out of displaying. Make sure your smile is large."
:)
Very nice 
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