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 ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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 this thread 
#137876 - 10/28/08 07:34 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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is where we tell stories and bullshit about random shit
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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 Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137878 - 10/28/08 07:37 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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when i was a freshman in highschool, my friend adrian was jumping on a trampoline with a switchblade in his pocket
somehow it opened up, and pierced his sack really bad
he started crying and ran to his mom and showed her his nuts
then he went to the hospital and they sewed his sack up
good times
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137879 - 10/28/08 07:40 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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let me drink another beer and i'll get back to ya
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heady nugz
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137881 - 10/28/08 07:44 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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do you like my idea about poppy pod homebrew?
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heady nugz
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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also, my other friend was trying to impress some kids at his little brothers party, he was throwing a ninja sword up in the air and twirling it and shit
the last time he threw it up, it came down and went right between his thumb and index finger and sliced down into his palm
blood went everywhere and all the little kids were screaming
also good times
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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yeah
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137885 - 10/28/08 07:48 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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man that's fucking great
One time at a party we found this tv with a built in 8mm mini tape player so we threw in some of the tapes that were laying around and it was my friend getting circumsized then the next clip he was wrestling on a bed with a guy making sex noises then next clip he was on his back and putting a condom onto his circumsized penis. Then he ran in an unplugged the tv and started yelling at us. True story.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137886 - 10/28/08 07:49 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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one time i did a bunch of hillbilly heroin and was pissed off at everything. fuckers
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heady nugz
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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that sucks, brah
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bananatelephone
MarijuAnna♫
Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 5,111
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I am thinking of stories now....but nothing exciting ever happens to me.
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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this beer must be at least 8% ABV feelin heady
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heady nugz
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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those white supremacist fucks that were planning to kill obama and behead a bunch of negro school kids
they were from Tennessee
fucking idiots
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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I got an exciting life but I get in tons of trouble.
K so me and my cousins go fishing and my cousin and my friend Raymond decide to go for a swim and my cousin climbs into the boat no problem and Raymond tries to climb in and he can't get up, my other cousin throws a peach at his head and he falls into the water. So Raymond rests his arms to try again and I guess it's his lucky day because he was able to swing his foot up to the side of the boat... Oh but what's this his big toe is stuck in the railing and he falls down ripping the nail out of his big toe.
Oh right the whole time he was wearing a lift jacket so it was making it harder for him to boost himself out of the water and he was too cowardly to take it off (ie. no upward momentum)
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137897 - 10/28/08 07:59 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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haha yea that they are. Its pretty impossible to assasinate the pres these days
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heady nugz
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usg543
◕‿◕
Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137898 - 10/28/08 08:00 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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my mom told me about it, said people were planning to assassinated obama, i asked her "why did they stop them?"
but then she told me of their other plans, and yes that is fucked up.
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Ombient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137899 - 10/28/08 08:03 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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i split open my knee on a trampoline couple weeks ago.
but dayum that doesn't compare to getting my nutsack split open by a switchblade on one 
first time getting stitches for me, between all the dumb stuff I've done and all the time I skated never once got them, it wuz fun\
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: Ombient]
#137904 - 10/28/08 08:06 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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i heard dan knows where to get fake IDs
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heady nugz
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Ombient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: Ombient]
#137925 - 10/28/08 08:18 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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oh yeah today an old man stuck a breath mint up his ASS
swear to god, he was standing right next to me and I saw him fiddling with a mint and then his hand went down his pants and yeah... gross
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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 highasfuck
The last samuri
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,886
Loc: So Cal
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137929 - 10/28/08 08:21 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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I was walking home from this party a few years ago. And im walking up this hill. And i look into this car im walking by and there are 2 people bumping uglies. So i tap on the window and say i have next.
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usg543
◕‿◕
Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
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you thought it was a breath mint
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: usg543]
#137932 - 10/28/08 08:37 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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it was probably some thizzle
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heady nugz
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usg543
◕‿◕
Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
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i like you have my balls licked
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: usg543]
#137935 - 10/28/08 08:43 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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it definately was a breath mint it had the green stripes and shit.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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Tangerines
Grease Wizard
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,497
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137938 - 10/28/08 08:55 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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For you, from me:
Quote:
These two storied are 100% true. Nothing has been altered
1)When I was in kindergarten the neighbor dog looked at me meanly so I hit it with a plastic baseball bat and the neighbors saw me and told my parents and I got in trouble and i told them it bit me but it did not and they did not believe me so i was called a liar which i was.
2)i had a rabbit named rocky for 6 years and one day when I was 12 my dad called me from his work and said "son your rabbit is dead and it is covered in bugs so clean it off and bury it behind the barn" so i went downstairs and looked at my rabbit and there were maggots crawling in and out of its eyes, ears, mouth and an open sore revealing a maggot covered brain so then I went to the back and washed it of with the hose and all the hair fell off rocky and showed its bare white skin so I took a scredriver and started digging at its brain to get all the worms out and when it was hairless and bug free idug a hole in the back and dug a hole and buried it only to notice the next day a racoon dug it up and chewed up all the meat and left the bones there and then i cried.
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#137944 - 10/28/08 09:09 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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the rabbit story is funny as hell assuming it's true
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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Tangerines
Grease Wizard
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,497
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Oh, it's true and has shaped me into the fine young man I am today.
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bananatelephone
MarijuAnna♫
Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 5,111
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I didn't enjoy the rabbit story Tang...
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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the part where you picked out the rabbits brains with a screwdriver = LOLOLOL
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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Phriend
/\/\♠♠♠/\/\
Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 2,416
Loc: in the walls
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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funny
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impgl
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 1,666
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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i hopped a freight train with a buncha homeless kids to virginia. we had to trek all far to get to another spot (maybe an hour). we'd been drinkin beer out of a soft drink cup and boxed wine the whole time and stop somewhere to piss. i go around the corner to pee but this couple of cruuuuusty stinky havent showered in 2 years kids just stick an empty cup into there overalls and piss standing there on the street. when i come back, the 2nd one had just finished pissing in the cup (they do it to avoid a pissing in public ticket) and they jokingly said who wants beer? i jumped at it cause i thought we'd run outta beer and take a fat schwill of dirty crusty piss. that was disgusting/
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ManInTheCorner
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 400
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Re: this thread *DELETED* [Re: impgl]
#137961 - 10/28/08 09:50 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ManInTheCornerReason for deletion: ds8f9u
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BlargIAmDead
Registered: 06/01/08
Posts: 266
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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That's why you never trust a hobo  
Also, all my stories pale in comparison to switchblade in the testicles, hobo piss, and dead rabbit brains O.O
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Tangerines
Grease Wizard
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,497
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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That is an everyday occurrence for me. I only give money to the cool bums though. Like the one who does back flips or the one who raps.
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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my friend made a bum do a backflip for a cig. He fell on his face, so no cig.
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heady nugz
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impgl
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 1,666
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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lulz i remember once i was having a nice chat outside of a bar and this cracked out guy keeps begging for money, saying it was his birthday and all. i made him eat raw pig intestines that we'd found in the trash for a dollar, i swear to god, san francisco is craaaaazy
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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Re: this thread [Re: impgl]
#137990 - 10/28/08 11:45 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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thats taking it too far bro
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heady nugz
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Roxum
Fulltime Doubter
Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 1,624
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Re: this thread [Re: impgl]
#137991 - 10/28/08 11:46 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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True story: One time I was walking around in a forest and I saw a black llama. It walked behind a tree and disappeared. 
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Roxum
Fulltime Doubter
Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 1,624
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Re: this thread [Re: Roxum]
#137992 - 10/28/08 11:53 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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Suddenly
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: impgl]
#137993 - 10/28/08 11:54 PM (16 years, 22 days ago) |
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dude, that`s super gross... I would have said a friend did that too, I wouldn`t be bragging about it though that`s for sure.
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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BlargIAmDead
Registered: 06/01/08
Posts: 266
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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Anytime a llama turns into boobs is a good story.....tell us more -_-
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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you sir need to start either quoting or quoting + replying or just replying... but yeah dude.
SLEEP TIME FOR KOONS!
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TROLLS NEED LOVE TOO!
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usg543
◕‿◕
Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
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Re: this thread [Re: Roxum]
#138073 - 10/29/08 11:12 AM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
Roxum said:
Suddenly
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Phriend
/\/\♠♠♠/\/\
Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 2,416
Loc: in the walls
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: this thread [Re: usg543]
#138075 - 10/29/08 11:16 AM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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 Mmm
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blueberry D
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 730
Loc: michigan
Last seen: 8 months, 29 days
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138240 - 10/29/08 06:59 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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i got a good one for u guys one time i ruptured my spleen trying to hop up onto a hood that was in my backyard and instead ended up catching my foot underneath my dog and fell forward onto a bumper that was right in front of it. I landed right on my side, and my mom who was cutting the grass quick ran over and checked on me, then said oh you just got the wind knocked out of you. about 15 min. later I tried tellin her that something was seriously wrong and her and my sister started laughing cuz they were all high I was only 9 at the time so i didn't really know what that was, so finally we go to the hospital and they tell my mom i had a ruptured spleen and if I would of waited another hour I would have died from internal bleeding. my whole summer sucked because i was on full bed rest. the only time I could get up was to piss and to take a shower every couple of days.
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Voodoo
Empty
Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 1,196
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138254 - 10/29/08 07:31 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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i was walkin my dogs down the street and i was all relaxed takin a nice walk all of a sudden i farted and alittle shit came out my ass. it was stuck in my butt crack for a while so i started walkin home, had about a half mile to walk home and as i walked the shit wiggled out in my underwear. so i had to walk home with shit in my underwear it sucked.
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Voodoo
Empty
Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 1,196
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: this thread [Re: Voodoo]
#138256 - 10/29/08 07:37 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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this just happened a couple days ago too
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usg543
◕‿◕
Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
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Re: this thread [Re: Voodoo]
#138257 - 10/29/08 07:38 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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Voodoo
Empty
Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 1,196
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138258 - 10/29/08 07:43 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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one time in high school there was this girl passed out drunk on my couch at my house where i had alil party and i beat off on her while she was asleep.
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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Re: this thread [Re: Voodoo]
#138267 - 10/29/08 08:06 PM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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epic
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neepling
Fat Ladies Buttocks.
Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 1,178
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138424 - 10/30/08 08:59 AM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
ltd said:
also, my other friend was trying to impress some kids at his little brothers party, he was throwing a ninja sword up in the air and twirling it and shit
the last time he threw it up, it came down and went right between his thumb and index finger and sliced down into his palm
blood went everywhere and all the little kids were screaming
also good times
ha everything that's "good times" with you so far involves knifes and blood
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oh noe! I'm heaps beached bro..
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bananatelephone
MarijuAnna♫
Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 5,111
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Re: this thread [Re: neepling]
#138428 - 10/30/08 09:08 AM (16 years, 21 days ago) |
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Lt. Dan should be telling old war stories.
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mel_lonta_tauda
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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god damn snipers
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Ombient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138586 - 10/30/08 03:22 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
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hey does lt dan die in the movie
I've never seen the whole movie but I saw a clip of him "making peace with god" and he was swimming out to sea or something
did he kill himself / drown?
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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Re: this thread [Re: Ombient]
#138587 - 10/30/08 03:22 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
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nah
he got new legs made from the same shit they used on the space shuttle
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Ombient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
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Re: this thread [Re: ltd]
#138588 - 10/30/08 03:23 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
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mel_lonta_tauda
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
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Re: this thread [Re: Ombient]
#138590 - 10/30/08 03:25 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
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and married an asian lady 
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Ombient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
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Im one of the few in the world thats never seen forest gump
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captain.koons
Failed Botanist
Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 6,170
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Re: this thread [Re: Ombient]
#138625 - 10/30/08 04:02 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
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I've never watched the whole thing either.
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JollyGreenJRayV
Mister
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 717
Loc: North America
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I'm from alabama
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wowitch420
whippits n ribs
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,982
Loc: 512 TX
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funny story: today on the way to class i was walking by a construction site on campus and i saw this mexican working that had a huuuge coke pinky nail. He noticed me chuckling, i made the coke nail gesture and we both started cracking up.
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heady nugz
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ltd
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 6,042
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