Home | Community | Message Board


Sporeworks
Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Growery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: North Spore Injection Grain Bag   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
most offensive world records
    #127262 - 09/30/08 11:33 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED

Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991 (assuming U.S. pints, that’s roughly 0.8 L or almost a whole milk bag. Can you say gang bang? Can you say EEEWWW!!!). Gee, I wonder which cesspool of disease recently got named the AIDS poster child? That, and consider the possibility that she didn’t get “it” all down on the first “shot” and……..oh, never mind).

LONGEST PUBES

Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina (talk about flossing yer teeth when performing………well, I’m sure you can extrapolate from here).

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH

Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina (this, for the uniformed, is what one calls a loose, sloppy **insert vulgar label for female genitalia here**).

ZITS

In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch (only the English, only the English. Don’t even begin to think of what his back-nee, or butt-nee must have been like. Like, what did the guy do to get a zit this big? Smear pig grease all over his face for a month?).

WORST DRINK

The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac (safely drunk?!? Aphrodisiac?!? More like a Fear Factor dare if ya ask me).

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL

This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a ‘C*nt Pump’ (I’ve, um, “heard” that it’s not bad. Oh, hush up ).

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN

Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a ’substantial’ amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a ’staggering turd’ over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state (any coincidence Taco Bell is headquartered there? Ever hear of a grain product called bran there, buddy?

MOST PROLONGED FART

Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds (forget the WWI German gases or Saddam! FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WHATEVER YA DO DON’T LIGHT A MATCH!!! Can you imagine the blue angel off that one? Large enough to thaw friggin’ Siberia).

Pretty nasty stuff there huh? I wonder which ones if any are true? I really don’t believe that anyone could store enough gas in there intestines to fart for almost 3 minutes. But if you could, I bet you would feel mighty relieved after the fact!


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePicklez
 User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: THEBats]
    #127264 - 09/30/08 11:36 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

THEBats said:
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED

Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991 (assuming U.S. pints, that’s roughly 0.8 L or almost a whole milk bag. Can you say gang bang? Can you say EEEWWW!!!). Gee, I wonder which cesspool of disease recently got named the AIDS poster child? That, and consider the possibility that she didn’t get “it” all down on the first “shot” and……..oh, never mind).





Thats impressive. Id put my dick in her mouf

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTripp420
WAT?
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/06/08
Posts: 4,186
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: Picklez]
    #127266 - 09/30/08 11:37 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

i wouldnt...


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemel_lonta_tauda
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
Re: most offensive world records [Re: Tripp420]
    #127275 - 09/30/08 11:58 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

that rapper lil kim took a trip to the hospital for too much semen in HER stomach.  that's just grosss

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineyellownotepad
Pharmaceutical Agriculturalist
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/22/08
Posts: 1,702
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: Picklez]
    #127282 - 10/01/08 12:21 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

KillerPicklez said:


Thats impressive. Id put my dick in her mouf




thats about the last place i'd ever allow my dick to go.  disgusting.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSativus
Brosef Knecht
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,486
Loc: PNW
Re: most offensive world records [Re: yellownotepad]
    #127294 - 10/01/08 12:57 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a ’staggering turd’ over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state (any coincidence Taco Bell is headquartered there? Ever hear of a grain product called bran there, buddy?




Just reading that makes my bowels hurt!


--------------------
Bufotenin
PiHKAL|TiHKAL|PCPiHKAL
Rhodium|Wetdreams|Synthetikal
DMT Extraction Overview|Jungle Spice
I Discovered the Oakridge Strain

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemel_lonta_tauda
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
Re: most offensive world records [Re: THEBats]
    #127298 - 10/01/08 01:09 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN

Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a ’substantial’ amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph



:lol:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: mel_lonta_tauda]
    #127349 - 10/01/08 06:37 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

now THAT'S impressive.


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineJonnyBegood
Sex, Nugs, Rock & Roll
Male


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 258
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: THEBats]
    #127366 - 10/01/08 09:00 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

epic thread hahaha, whast with all the god damn semen. :lol:


--------------------
"One Day, One World, One Love" 4/20

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHarry_Ba11sachM
cannoisseur
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 11,753
Loc: Nepal Flag
Re: most offensive world records [Re: Sativus]
    #127378 - 10/01/08 09:53 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sativus said:
Quote:

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a ’staggering turd’ over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state (any coincidence Taco Bell is headquartered there? Ever hear of a grain product called bran there, buddy?




Just reading that makes my bowels hurt!




I read that stat last night after smoking a birthday blunt with my roommate and we literally couldn't stop laughing for a good 20 minutes. I mean fuck, that's at least a good 2 or 3 Courics!!!


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offline0xYg3n
el cid
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,591
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: JonnyBegood]
    #127403 - 10/01/08 11:17 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

hahahaha, awesome thread.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineJonnyBegood
Sex, Nugs, Rock & Roll
Male


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 258
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: 0xYg3n]
    #127454 - 10/01/08 01:32 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

i swear one time my friend had a zit that exploded like ten feet. no joke. it was like a pyramid on his nose and one day after just sweating a shit load it started to go and me and my friends were watching him pop it. then BAM it was spewing zit juice for ever. ewwwww lol. whats the record for the longest burp?


--------------------
"One Day, One World, One Love" 4/20

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleToiletduk
Head Goon


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Earthfarm 1
Re: most offensive world records [Re: THEBats]
    #127484 - 10/01/08 02:29 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

THEBats said:

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a ’staggering turd’ over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state (any coincidence Taco Bell is headquartered there? Ever hear of a grain product called bran there, buddy?




Damn, and I thought my 16 inchers were big. :frown:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offline0xYg3n
el cid
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,591
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: Toiletduk]
    #127538 - 10/01/08 03:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Lawl.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineb0b gnarley
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 5,663
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: 0xYg3n]
    #204578 - 03/10/09 10:57 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

had to bump this is funnier than shit

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCody
Male

Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 204
Loc: South East USA
Re: most offensive world records [Re: b0b gnarley]
    #204584 - 03/10/09 11:05 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

lord have mercy 0.8 litre of cum? im sure alot of jizz had to miss..when the gang bang took place. i bet she got her husband or soemthing to jizz in a bottle for a few months and she kept it in the fridge. thats alot of protein.:nonono:


--------------------
Also known as Heineken on The Shroomery

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpaceMonkey
Mind Pilot
Male


Registered: 02/09/09
Posts: 3,471
Loc: Hawaiian Islands Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: most offensive world records [Re: THEBats]
    #204618 - 03/11/09 12:57 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Too funny!  :thanx:


--------------------

:guns: Don't Mistake My Kindness For Weakness :guns:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: North Spore Injection Grain Bag   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Longest you've ever stayed up?
( 1 2 all )
FRACTALife 4,420 29 04/07/13 02:28 PM
by P-O
* Whats the longest yalls gone without weed ?
( 1 2 all )
Skatealex2 5,325 26 10/29/10 10:50 PM
by Inverted
* Anyone into collecting Records here?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Sham87 12,870 64 04/22/17 05:04 PM
by drawde
* What's the longest amount of time you've spent trimming?
( 1 2 all )
Captain Caveman 6,787 22 08/03/11 07:29 PM
by Jeff Funk
* Antarctic Sea Ice Extent Breaks All-Time Record
( 1 2 3 all )
niteowl 9,601 53 11/22/13 05:24 AM
by HipsterDoofus
* Anyone know a good MSN webcam recorder? Must be free and no watermark kidaihuan 1,220 2 07/01/08 11:43 PM
by kidaihuan
* Secret court order forces Verizon to turn over telephone records of millions
( 1 2 all )
Mr.Hybrid 5,228 30 06/10/13 09:17 PM
by P-O
* Particles recorded moving faster than light - CERN I_AM_SWIM 3,148 19 09/24/11 09:17 PM
by I_AM_SWIM

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: FurrowedBrow, Harry_Ba11sach, Magash, Data, Stoneth, Dr. Siekadellyk
4,357 topic views. 6 members, 2,257 guests and 1,802 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.027 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 12 queries.